Stardust
by aclockworKat
Summary: Rising from a childhood of abuse, forming the Marauders, living wild and free and dying a hero. From the cradle to the grave: the life, adventures and secrets of Sirius Black. A tribute to one of the most amazing characters to ever be created. Sirius-centric. M for dark content. Cannon-respectful. Romance will come in the future...when he's old enough for it. All cannon couples.
1. Stardust

**Disclaimer:** This Fan fiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. Sufficed to say, copyright infringement would be a stupendously idiotic move on my behalf. Same goes for "Stardust", a song which belongs to Frank Sinatra, Tommy Dorsey, the Pied Pipers and all those who composed and wrote it for them.

**For my Beta Readers: **As always thank you for being such good friends and for the amazing help with editing this, a round of applause, **DarkenedStar **and **KrystalMage**

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**Stardust**

_Though I dream in vain__  
__In my heart it always will remain__  
__My stardust melody__  
__The memory of love's refrain_

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November 1st 1959 was the coldest in half a century. The snow fell in relentless flocks, the night was pitch black and the windows were adorned with frozen shinny ice. Not a single soul dared lay a foot outside, with the snowstorm that threatened to dispose of any living being who defied Mother Nature's will. But this meant little or nothing to the troubled household of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, as they stressed around the chambers of the newlywed successors of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. And it was all because the night of November 1st 1959 was the same night the first heir to their line would be born.

Walburga Black had first gone into labor sometime after lunch, and after eleven painful hours, the line's successor, Sirius Black III was finally born into the world. With a crown of dark hair and stormy grey eyes that nobody could deny made him a Black, he was placed gently within his mother's loving embrace.

For as much as that night would be a metaphor for the life of the newborn, at that time, Walburga's only concern was her love for her first heir. She loved him with all her steel heart would dare feel. She had hated him for all the pain he had caused her, even after ingesting various potions prepared for her by the young and devoted house elf of House Black, Kreacher, to lessen the physical pain. It was only after holding him in her arms, feeling the faint beat of his heart against her chest and the peaceful, soft breathing against her neck that her eyes had softened to the child.

Walburga was exhausted, even in birth Sirius Black had been difficult, but as she closed her eyes, a wave of satisfaction and pride for herself overcame the pureblood, as a rare smile crept upon her lips. She had conceived a male heir for her house within her first year of marriage. _Toujour pur_, as pure a bloodline as any could be, and Sirius Black would be, no doubt in her mind, her pride and glory in years to come.

As her mind drifted to slumber with the newborn atop her breast, she failed to see the way the storm made way to silence, and a single silver light crept through the window, diffused through the soft shield of the ice coated glass, and rested in a soft silver glow, ending in a spotlight that illuminated the child. And just as silently as it had appeared, it faded away, returning the room to utter darkness, claiming both in their slumber.

Thus started the life of Sirius Black the third, a life in which he would be sure to have a leading role, for as we all know now, Sirius Black was ever prone to living life to its fullest, experiencing all he desired, and claiming his ideals as his way of life.

But it wasn't until later in his life that he had learned this, for Sirius Black, as a young child, would have other lessons to learn. Lessons that an heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black could not afford to pass, in the family he was born into, and duties that he would have to perform.

As a young child, Sirius had been spoiled by his mother, having had her full attention, until the birth of her second son, a year and a half after Sirius's birth. Curiously, Sirius could still remember that day. He recalled how bleak the sky had been, even for May, when spring should bring in warmer weather and bluer skies. Alas, the heavens were grey and dull, and the rain poured down as if the weeping of angels, incessantly predicting a horrific fate for the Black family. It was May 18th 1961, that Regulus Arcturus Black, his younger brother, was born. In contrast with his elder brother's birth, Regulus's birth had been quite fast and painless, seeming to predict how the child would conduct his life when he grew older.

And at first, Sirius was quite jealous of his younger sibling, who claimed the attention of the entire household, and his mother, while he was stuck, even at that tender age, with classes on ancient Latin, Greek and French. Many would later claim the uselessness of such knowledge to Sirius, including himself. However, the Black family customs insisted that he would need the knowledge to delve into the world of ancient spells, Dark Arts and other such core magic that would need him to have a clear understanding of the language so intricately woven into the spells he would no doubt cast later in his life.

Sirius still remembered the language lessons, dull as a rainy day, when all he could focus on was running freely through the green gardens he would only occasionally get to peek at through the glass, but seldom had the chance to enjoy. Instead, he had spent his time with his mother learning how to walk with the grace of a Black, and how to talk elegantly and softly as the Royalty that the Blacks believed themselves to be. He was never to raise his voice, for that was what commoners did, and no Black would ever subject themselves to such lowly standards. His mother taught him his manners, how to sit at a table, which cutlery of the many lain neatly around his plate to use, and which cup would be used in each occasion. And after that, he would still have classes on calligraphy, reading, and the basics of magic.

Many would argue that Sirius had been too young when he had started his lessons, but the Black family firmly maintained that he would have to start young if he was ever to dominate the full customs of his house and serve it proudly. By the age of three Sirius sounded already like a young adult, rarely mistaking any of his words, and if ever such a thing happened, he would be adequately punished by his mother. He also walked with a grace astounding for his age, and even had a certain control over his early magic, which had gained favor with his parents.

Very rarely, when he did something exceedingly extraordinary, he would see a sparkle in his mother's clear green eyes, and even more rarely, if he was very lucky, be worthy of a caress or a hug from the pristine, elegant woman. Sirius had thought of his mother as the most beautiful woman to ever live, with her immaculate image, carefully polished nails, perfectly combed golden tresses, which were usually styled into a chignon, tall and proud, with heels that clicked so softly on the floor that she appeared to be gliding over it.

And yet, as each day passed, she seemed further and further away from him, barely granting him a smile, even when she would do it so unabashedly for his younger brother. Sometimes Sirius would feel a darkness creeping from within him, wanting to earn that same praise for himself and himself alone, wanting his mother to take him out on his own, instead of his brother. He wondered why he still had to learn three languages apart from English, while his brother only learned Ancient Latin, and even further why his brother's so very current mistakes weren't treated with the severity his own were, even though he rarely ever made any mistakes.

But that darkness would never last for long, as his younger brother's adoring green eyes would turn to him, how he would try to imitate him, and insist on spending time with him. How could his heart not melt completely, when young Regulus adored him so flagrantly, and so wholeheartedly? He simply couldn't. And so, even as that darkness still remained locked in his heart, it would never be unleashed on him, for Regulus was Sirius's best friend, his brother, his family. They were both Blacks, and even at such a young age, Sirius was quite sure his brother's safety was entrusted to him.

As Sirius made his way into the dining room, being the first one there, he could hear his brother's footsteps accompanied by their mother's, taping on the wooden floor as he tried desperately to accompany his mother's long strides, and as they entered, Sirius noted their clasped hands. Sirius frowned, envy burning straight through him as he saw the intimate act of care he had desired so much for himself. His brother was now three and a half years old, Sirius had just turned five, he remembered that at three he no longer had any help from his mother in walking.

He felt outraged, and couldn't help the words that came out of his mouth a few moments later, "Aren't you a bit old to still cling on to mother, Regulus? You should be acting your age now." He said in his still childish voice, with all the conviction and seriousness of an adult.

Regulus turned his big green eyes on him, no doubt inherited from their mother, and smiled sheepishly, replying in his not so fairly developed speech, "Well…mama helped me, because I was a bit scared of walking in the corridors by myself alone Sirius. I'm still not very much brave like you…" He trailed, cheeks warm, knowing his older brother was expecting more of him, even in his young age. Regulus knew he wasn't as developed as his brother, even though his brain wouldn't process the information that way, he viewed his brother as a sort of 'super hero', doing everything perfectly, the way their parents wanted. Sirius had never cried like Regulus often did, and he wasn't allowed to fail in anything either without their parents being upset at him, like Regulus could. He had a deep admiration for his brother, and wanted nothing more than to be exactly like him. He tried to mimic his speech and imitate his expressions, and even the way he walked, yet little Regulus was bound to always trip over himself, or having to run to catch up constantly, after tripping over himself… He certainly didn't have the same grace his older brother processed, but he really wanted to. Above all, Regulus wanted to make his older brother proud, he wanted to be worthy of a smile from his big brother, who was everything he wanted to be when he grew up.

Their mother's sharp, feminine voice, however, cut through whatever would have been said next with her words. Her voice was chilly and strict when she had said it. "Sirius, _you_ are the family heir, not your younger brother. We expect nothing but perfection from you… Regulus…" She looked at her younger child and the twinkle in her green eyes didn't escape Sirius's attention, "He's going to help propagate the Black line's next generation. Unlike you, Sirius, his responsibilities aren't to represent our House and our name. He doesn't need to be as perfect as yourself, he'll have time to perfect his craft, and in time I'm sure he will…" Her eyes were back on Sirius, no kindness left there. It wasn't because she didn't love her son, Walburga was sure Sirius would be the brightest star that was ever birthed into House Black, simply because he was _her_ son. The lack of kindness was to prepare him for the world he encountered. There couldn't be a single hint of frailty from her eldest, not in the strict pure-blood society he'd been born into.

The boy had to be ruthless from a young age, if he expected to survive and strive as a pure-blood, an Elite member at that. House Black members were expected to rule over all other houses, being the most Noble and Ancient one that had survived. Their line alone was enough to elicit respect from all other houses, and if they were ever to be in a place in society, it would have to be on top of the pyramid. It was just the way it was, and would always be.

They were Pure-Blood Royalty, and Sirius would be the crown jewel in their family, surpassing their fathers before them. A small smile crept into her lips, startling Sirius, who tried to decipher his ever puzzling mother. Why would she have smiled after reprimanding him? And then, as if on cue to answer his question, the words left her lips, "I expect great things from you, Sirius. I'm sure you won't disappoint me."

His heart suddenly filled with a surge of heat to which he didn't have a name, but later on would learn that it was called ego. A bright smile broke through his face, happy with the near praise his mother had granted him with. Of course it wasn't a compliment, Sirius had never earned such a thing, but it meant that she thought good things of him. That she thought he was going to be the best, if only he tried as hard as he could to act like a true Black.

"Now, take your places boys, while we wait for your father to have dinner with us." She instructed softly, taking a place near the dinner table, Sirius being the first to take his place besides her to the right, and Regulus besides Sirius.

They both heard the heavy steps of Orion Black as he made their way into the dining room, Sirius's little heart thumped desperately in his chest as he waited for his father to join them. It wasn't that he was…_scared_, of his father, per se, it was just that… A deep shadow suddenly engulfed Sirius's figure, who stared at the ground as he waited for the older man's arrival. He timidly looked up to find the steely gaze of Orion Black staring down at him, and his eyes filled with uncertainty.

"Still so frail." Orion stated looking at him, as if examining a show animal. His eyes then turned to Walburga, elegant dark eyebrow raised over his stormy grey eyes, face chiseled, handsome and masculine, as if it was sculpted by one of the Ancient Greek Masters. "The boy still needs work, Walburga. What exactly have you been teaching him?" Orion was not the fatherly man one would expect him to be, as most of his life was occupied with his work in the Ministry of Magic's Department of International Magical Affairs and as the representative of the British, he travelled sometimes for weeks to settle deals and agreements. It was of no shock that whenever he would come back, he would be presented with his offspring for close inspection.

His mother's gaze was uncertain as she looked at her husband, she straightened her shoulders and smiled, "Well obviously we've been focusing on his magical work. He's improved quite a lot, even though you haven't really been with him to see his development." She tried to cover for herself, hoping he would drop the topic.

Orion's eyes turned back to the small frame of his eldest son, inspecting the way he immediately straightened his back and squared his shoulders as he had been taught, looking straight ahead of him. His eyes now held a determination which made Orion chuckle. So the little boy was protective of his mother, was he? He lazily drew his gaze back to his wife, a small smirk forming itself on his lips, "I suppose I'll have to be the one teaching him how to act like a man. The heir should start losing his boyishness at this age." He commented, taking his seat at the head of the table, with a quiet nod of his head which signaled the rest of the family could now sit.

They followed after him, his wife with a gaze that would almost make him believe she was ashamed of herself, while his eldest held his strong look, directed at his father, and Regulus sat down gazing around himself aloof, almost as if unaware of the tension dancing in the air.

He sighed, resigning himself to the thought that if he'd want things done right, he would have to do them himself. Walburga was a wonderful wife, who did her duties as best she could, but her mother's heart would always be in the way of teaching their son how think ruthlessly as a man. As himself, and his father before him. They had much work to do.

And so his fork dove down to pierce the meat on his place, his hold so strong it made the meat bones crack in a sound that turned all heads to him. In a way, he rather liked the way he instilled respect on all those around him, and with his eyebrows raised as if daring his family to question him, he brought the piece of meat to his mouth, a proud smirk forming on his face as he chewed.

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I know it's just the beginning but give it some time, next chapter should be up next week :) thanks for reading!


	2. Sangreal

**Disclaimer:** This Fanfiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. This chapter's inspiration, "Sangreal" belongs to the great Greek band, Septic Flesh.

**To my Beta Readers:** Amazing job as always **krystalMage** and **DarkenedStar**, you input makes this story what it is!

**A.N.:** I know I said I'd post this chapter next week, but it was already written and I couldn't help myself... enjoy the ride!

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**Sangreal**

_There's a sacred ancient cup  
Filled with royal bluish blood  
Sangreal, how real  
In a family of light  
Darkest secrets hide from eyes_

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_Toujours Pur_. All his life he'd been bound to those words and the meaning behind it, without ever choosing to be. Throughout the short years he had lived, _Blood_ and its respective _purity_, if there really was such a thing, had been his Family's greatest of concerns. Their pride for their lineage, never mind the madness that came as a side effect, was driven by the obsession with such a thing as the "purest of bloods".

Everyday he'd walked through the halls of his home and faced the Black Family crest, which read their family's greatest pride and obsession: _Toujours Pur _– Always Pure. His mother had once explained to him how blood could, in fact, be tainted by the affiliation with _muggles_. She'd said the word as if it were a deadly, foul disease to be avoided at all costs. The word slipped from her perfect scarlet dyed lips, like a disgusting insect which she would allow to live, so long as it didn't interfere with her line of vision.

How could blood be tainted by the affiliation with muggles, he'd asked himself, reasoning that for blood to be 'tainted', as she had put it, someone ought to open a wound and slip paint into it, like the ones used for the magic quills, for instance. And so, he asked, wanting to understand why it was so important that blood not be tainted, and the eventual perils these muggles possessed, which to him, also made no sense, considering they didn't have magic, and even if they did try and attack any magical being, one could simply disapparate or cast a spell upon oneself that permitted immediate escape from any menace.

His mother regarded him with the coldest of stares, raising an elegant blond eyebrow, lips turning small, the way they did whenever she was dissatisfied with anything. Sirius would have shuddered, had he not known he would get into further trouble for showing anyone his weakness, especially one of his parents.

"They want to have what is ours by birth right, Sirius. They try to marry our kind, hoping to acquire our power and subdue us." The sound of the words reminded Sirius of the freezing winds of winter, once they started to swirl in the night, warning everyone of a coming snowstorm. Her voice was bitter cold, with the subtle hint of menace. "Tell me Sirius, what is it you think happens when a Wizard has a child with a Muggle?"

He breathed deeply, this time he avoided the eye contact with his mother, for as beautiful as her emerald orbs were, in that instance, they were deadly poison. He swallowed a dry lump, turning his eyes to his feet, thinking of an adequate reply, not as much as what he had actually _believed_, but rather as much as what he _believed his mother wanted to hear_. He'd learned almost as soon as he'd started speaking, that the wrong words would mean punishment.

It had started as soon as his mind could remember, with nights where they would sit at the table, and his place would be devoid of a plate or cutlery, and he would be forced to sit, and smell the delicious food prepared by Kreacher, and watch as his family ate, while he sat on an empty stomach. His mother would avoid any eye contact with him, or even regarding him. His father would have a cruel smile on his face as he looked at him mockingly, and comment that a young wizard needed to know discipline, and how this would build character. All the while, Regulus, his dearest brother, would try not to cry, uncomprehending why they were starving his older brother, the person he loved the most in the world. He would always try to sneak some food for him later on, bless his heart, but it would never erase the agony of the hunger he felt, how unjustly he thought he was being treated, the way his mouth watered, smelling the food, wanting the feel of it in his mouth, to have his stomach full and content, and unable to do anything about what was being done to him.

After that, they had started punishing him more intensely, locking him in the attic, alone and in the dark, with nothing but the spiders and dust for company. They'd leave him there for hours on end, in the pitch black, unable even look at the sky and tell how long it had past, trapped with only his own thoughts for company… oh how he'd cried, screamed and begged for release, how he'd promised to be good until his throat ached, but the cruelty of silence always met him from the other side and it was only ended when his parents chose to.

There was nothing Sirius could have done against the enchantments on the door that sealed it completely, no escape, only his tears and thoughts, screaming inside his head of his own fears and nothing, no one, to reassure him that everything would be alright. A few months later, Sirius finally accustomed himself to the attic and the loneliness, he no longer screamed, knowing it was futile until his parents deemed so.

That was when they had started his _education_ within the Dark Arts, Legilimency and Occlumency, the traits in Magic the Black family were renowned for and excelled, as much as any Pure Blooded family who considered themselves royalty did. It was all, of course, a poor excuse to punish him, whenever they deemed necessary, or even when his father simply felt upset. He never knew when to expect it, but he knew one thing- he didn't want to trigger anything that could lead to it.

He could deal with hunger, with loneliness and the dark… but he could not deal with the pain or the humiliation of the two Unforgivables his father used on him. So, before another heartbeat, he answered his mother, "When a child of a Wizard and a Muggle is born, our magic weakens… and the muggles can have control of it." He could only hope Walburga was pleased with his answer, his heart beating in his chest, like a frantic hippogriff's wings, breath caught in his lungs, lips sealed, as he controlled himself not to whimper, until, finally her eyes softened.

"Yes…I suppose that is the basic principle. Their entrance into our world, a world they have tried to banish and erase. Many centuries ago, Sirius, Wizards, Witches and Muggles were allies. They came to us for help, respected our power, and we granted our assistance." She paused, eyes far away, lips moving, words falling like soft snowflakes, silver and beautiful to the eyes, but freezing and stinging anyone dared trust them with a bare hand. "The Malfoy Family, for instance. They were quite big allies with muggles; most of their fortune comes from their affiliation with powerful royal muggle families. In fact, they were quite well known for their… willing intimacy, if they could gain any power or fortune from it, staying close to kings, royals and queens. Of course their line was maintained _mostly_ pure… but that was, until the Muggles betrayed our help and trust, Sirius."

Green locked onto grey, hard as steel they sent a cold shiver down his spine, "They started with their witch hunts, burning women alive, uncaring if they were our kind or not… most of us escaped, but those married to muggle men… some were not so lucky. They made us go into hiding, Sirius… And now, they want our power back. Why do you think Squibs are born, Sirius? Muggle blood. Tainted blood. We cannot allow that." Her eyes never left his, but they seemed to see through him, "Our Family Crest reminds us of our fight, of our honour and dignity, of all that is at stake, of our sacred duty to keep our line pure. Always. And we must extinguish those who defy the natural order of things."

Sirius nodded, supposing her words made a certain sense, though still not quite understanding how a person's blood could be tainted, without physically introducing some foreign substance into that person's veins. A soft smile that didn't reach her eyes crossed her lips, "Now come, put on your robes while I get your bother, we will be leaving for Diagon Alley now." He nodded, as he directed himself to the small entrance hall, picking his robes up from the metal coat hanger on the wall, standing on his toes and jumping a little to grab it. When he finally managed to, he dressed himself and waited for his mother and brother.

They would be passing through muggle London, and Sirius was excited to _see_ muggles for himself. On the few occasions he's seen muggles, they didn't seem to be the least bit harmful, not at all, but after what his mother had told him he wasn't so sure anymore. Were they really that dangerous? Somehow, it didn't completely make sense to him. It was like blaming the winter for bringing with it the horrible long nights and cold, without remembering the beauty of walking out in the morning, on pure white, freshly fallen snow, of making snowballs in the backyard and having snow fights with his brother, or building snowmen, or drawing on the snow… it seemed like so much was amiss from her story… but he supposed, if his mother said so, he would believe her… though, he couldn't rid himself of his curiosity with the fellow, magic-less creatures and their inventions and contraptions. They'd always seemed so… happy when he'd seen them on the streets. Could they really be so terrible, after all?

The sound of two sets of footsteps clacked on the floor and Sirius immediately recognized Regulus's small, quick footsteps, as he accompanied their mother, with a smile tugged at his lips, even as his heart seemed to squeeze itself when he saw the smaller hand locked into Walburga's.

He straightened his back, holding out his hand to the elegant witch, who took it into her palm, and together they walked out and into the Black Coach his mother had already sent for. The carriage was black, harnessed to four, or more, invisible horses. His mother had told him they were Thestrals – black, leathery looking horses, with bat-like wings, which could only be seen by people who had seen death.

Being a purist, his mother didn't agree with any mode of transportation of muggle origin. While the Malfoy family, which held a magical Rolls Royce in their garage, the Black family refused to acquire any vehicles of the sort. Instead, they frowned upon those who did, and preferred to have a magical taxi take them wherever they needed, or apparate, or Floo themselves to their desired destination.

As Sirius and his brother were still quite young, it was agreed that the safest method of transportation would be the Black Coach, and so the coach was what they always used. The coach took off into the air, Disillusionment charms in place, according to law, to ensure that they wouldn't be seen by muggles, arriving minutes later at Charing Cross Road, just in front of the Leaky Cauldron's entrance. Five Galleons were paid to the coachman before they stepped out.

The weather was dismal, as usual, dark and grey and cold, as it was. On the Record shop, beside the entrance leading into the Leaky Cauldron, was an unmoving muggle poster plastered on its window, all white with four persons in the centre, reading "The Beatles" on the very top right and "Help" in red lettering on the top left hand side. The store was blasting loud muggle rock music, bringing life to the quiet street. A muggle couple was coming down the road with two children, one propped upon his daddy's shoulders, the older one grabbing his mother's hand, laughing together and talking happily, stopping in front of the poster, next to Sirius. Muggle parents always seemed so affectionate to their children; it made Sirius feel a certain pang in his chest as he saw them, but he was unaware that it was envy.

"Wow, is that the new Beatles record, dad?" said the eldest child, eyes shining as he stared into the poster, pointing towards it. The older man looked at it for a few seconds, smiling instantly as he saw what it was and responded eagerly, "Yes it is Danny, came out last month, I heard all about it on the radio!" he responded, just as excited as his child.

The boy grinned, "Will we be buying it soon then, dad?" The pang in his chest persisted as he observed how freely the children seemed to speak with their father, how their parent's eyes softened and laughed back at them, how much love they displayed to one another, openly and freely. They made it all seem so easy… effortless. Deep down…

The boy's mother laughed back, "You know your daddy's as much of a fan as you are, my love!"

…Deep down, Sirius wished for the same with his family. He looked to his mother, to find her quietly observing them as they waited for them to leave and discreetly pop into the Leaky Cauldron, her eyes were frosted in judgement, obviously chastising of their manners.

"Brilliant! I'm going to be just like Paul McCartney when I grow up, you'll see!" he said, and the youngest one finally spoke from atop his father's shoulders, "No! I want to be Paul McCartney!" he whined, causing both his parents to chuckle and his brother to screech something in protest.

His mother intervened calmly, "You can both be whomever you like, my sons, as long as you're happy!" she smiled warmly, and their father chuckled, "Or at very least, as happy as Paul always looks, anyway!" They all laughed as they started to walk again, moving past the Blacks.

Walburga's eyes followed them in distaste, "Filthy muggles," she sneered behind them, as she finally led her boys into the pub. Sirius had never liked the smell inside the Leaky Cauldron, it was a mixture of alcohol, piss and tobacco. Unmistakable. He was quite pleased when they quickly passed by the tables, directly towards the secret passage, tapping the bricks to open the entrance and walked straight through, into Diagon Alley. His mother had informed them that she needed to fetch some ingredients for her potions, and had brought them along, as they would one day need to know their way through Diagon Alley on their own.

Diagon Alley never seemed to lose its unique sense of wonder to Sirius, with its topsy turvy roads, bright shops selling all sorts of wondrous, magical equipment, some of which Sirius knew he's need when he went to Hogwarts, some he could only dream about. They went down the road, all the way off Diagon Alley, until the shops became less colourful and inviting. The buildings grew more ominous and dreary, almost as if they'd been left abandoned, filled with cobwebs and the air on the streets became less clear, with a hint of something foul smelling, which Sirius didn't even want to guess at. That was when Sirius knew they'd reached their mother's shopping place of predilection, _Knockturn Alley_.

Regulus's face twisted into fear, as he looked around him warily, feet shaking behind their mother, and Sirius quickly grabbed his hand, taking it into his, while locking his eyes into his brothers as he squeezed his hand reassuringly. Regulus's unsure gaze seemed to calm down, and Sirius offered his brother a wide smile, knowing it would make him feel safer. He held his hand until they reached Borgin and Burkes, where his mother liked to shop, following her into the dark, creepy looking store.

Mr. Burkes greeted them with a crooked smile. Sirius would never trust the man no matter how many times he'd see him, and by the way Regulus's hand tightened onto his, neither would his brother. Pleasantries and small talk were exchanged as his mother asked for what she'd came to purchase from Mr. Burke. She'd informed the brothers to stay put and not get into trouble.

Sirius sighed, chewing the inside of his cheek while he turned to face his brother, with half lidded eyes. He was about to open his mouth to say something, when something caught his eye. Half hidden, on another isle at the back of the shop, Sirius spotted, just above his brother's head, slightly to the left, a massive jar, filled with a bright green liquid, green as the grass that grew in the park during spring, and it had _silver things_ swimming around in it. They were…he squinted his eyes to see better, but still couldn't distinguish what it was. He felt compelled to move closer and inspect it.

"What is it?" whispered his brother's soft voice, and that triggered something in Sirius, who grinned in return.

"Why don't we find out?" he replied just as softly with a grin, already excited to know what it was and, more importantly, if he could _use it_. He looked back towards his mother, checking if she was or not distracted, and saw that she was checking between a few different samples of whatever it was Mr. Burke had brought for her. Sirius' smile only widened. It was just too perfect!

He tugged at his brother's hand, gently, though impatiently, as he always did, and they both started towards the jar. While it was much closer to them than before, it was still much higher up than they would have liked, and Sirius did want to take a closer look. On the one hand, if he'd get caught while he was still standing on the ground, he wouldn't be in trouble. But he wouldn't be able to see whatever it was swimming in that green juice very clearly, and that just wouldn't do. He would have to find a way to see them closer, without their mother noticing.

"What are we waiting for?" whispered Regulus. Sirius was quite sure he knew what they were doing wasn't right, or he wouldn't be whispering, but he was still too young to understand that they needed to be sneaky, a trait Sirius had mastered even in his young years to sneak past their father and acquire what he'd wanted. Sirius stilled for a moment, chewing at his lip in thought and looking around. He was quite sure if he could pick up the books that were stacked along the floor without anyone noticing, he'd be able to pile them up, and he could get to the creatures. He'd even get Regulus to see it!

However, he'd have to be very, very careful not to get caught by neither his mother nor Mr. Burke. Suddenly, a light went on in his head. Regulus had to learn the art of sneaking soon enough, and it was his duty as elder brother to teach the lad. Beckoning him closer, he whispered in his ear, clearly as he could, making sure he knew the urgency of his task, "Regulus, listen very carefully, because this is the only way we'll get to find out whatever's in that jar." Regulus nodded eagerly, with a firm look in his green eyes, "Good. I want you to look at mother and make sure to tell me if she looks in our direction or if she comes near us. Can you do that for me, brother?"

"I can do it!" he said a bit too eagerly, clasping a hand over his mouth as soon as he'd said it. Sirius' eyes darted toward his mother immediately, ensuring she hadn't looked their way, and he breathed in relief when he noticed she wasn't. Good. This meant they could get started. Sirius went for the books, one by one, as quickly and silently as he could, stacking them up in front of the shelf containing the jar. He tested the little step he'd made for himself with his right foot, putting his weight onto it. When it didn't quiver, he quickly put his other foot on top, lifting his full weight on top of the books. His face was now straight in front of the jar, and inside it were the most _repulsive, disgusting, ugliest creatures he'd ever seen._ He immediately grinned at the thought of the possibilities! He could only imagine Bella's screeches of panic if they were to find their way onto her pillow at night, or even if she were to find them on her chair at the dinner table.

"What are they, Sirius? I wanna see too!" said Regulus, just as eager to see the creatures. "Well, they're slimy and silver. I don't know what they are… they kind of look like slugs, but they have massive teeth…" described Sirius the best as he could. "Let me see them!" insisted Regulus, and Sirius stepped down from the books, letting his brother take his turn in seeing them. He was still too short to reach eye level with the jar, however, and before he could whine any further, Sirius had another idea.

"Wait just a minute, I'm sure I can get it for you to see! We have to get this, I want to use them on Cousin Bella!" he grinned, earning a happy smile from his brother. So he stepped up the books again, held his arms up and, without testing it, picked up the jar with his full strength. Just as he'd grabbed the jar in his hands, his foot slipped and as he lost his balance, his eyes widened in horror. Just as he was about to fall on straight on his bum, jar and all, he froze mid place. He stilled for a moment, unsure of what was happening. Then, carefully, Sirius looked down, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, only to find he was floating, and when he tried to move his limbs, they were frozen still.

He quickly looked around himself to check if he was in trouble, when he suddenly saw his favourite person in the entire world. "Uncle Alphard!" he almost screamed in glee, earning a chuckle from his widely admired uncle.

"Up to no good, I see!" he laughed, picking Sirius by his torso and lifting him down onto his feet. He swished his wand and Sirius could move again, but he still had the jar in his hand and couldn't hug his uncle, who was ruffling Regulus's head. "And what possessed you boys to play with those vicious little creatures?" he raised his eyebrows, taking the jar off Sirius's hands.

They both looked towards their feet, almost ashamed. Almost. "Well…We just wanted to know what they were…"

"Yeah, and use them on Bella!" piped in Regulus, trying to sound as grown up as his older brother, and the conviction in his eyes and mouth only served to make their uncle burst into laughter. "Use it on Bella? And why'd you want to use these nasty little buggers on your poor cousin?" he asked grinning.

"She's mean!" said Regulus immediately.

"I don't like her," said Sirius right after his brother, frowning.

Alphard Black grinned back at them, "She's not that bad." He snickered at the boys' unconvinced looks, and rolled his eyes. "Alright boys, look, I'll make you a deal. You leave the Dragon Newts alone, and I'll take you both to Gambol and Japes Wizarding Jokes shop where we can find something for you to play a prank on your cousin that won't scald her skin for life, alright?"

Both boys grinned as he ruffled their heads. He was putting the jar back in place when Walburga's startled voice called him. "Alphard?" She asked almost unsurely, bag in hand, ready to leave. She had obviously noticed the boys had wandered around and came in search for them; had she not been so surprised by uncle Alphard's appearance they would have surely been in trouble. Their uncle turned his head towards her, smiling charmingly, "There she is! The most beautiful lady in the land!" he laughed, heading towards his sister, taking her hand and kissing its back.

Walburga smiled, and this time, it reached her eyes, genuinely brightening her features, "Oh, Alphard! It's been too long my dear brother, where have you been? Why didn't you tell me you were back in England?" Both her hands were now on his shoulders, eyes bright and vibrant.

Uncle Alphard smilled back, "Well, I was going to surprise you with a visit, but the boys-" he nodded towards Sirius and Regulus "-surprised me first!" he laughed. The smile hadn't faltered from her face, as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a quick hug.

"You must stay with us while you're here Alphard, I insist on it. And Orion won't be back home until next week or so, so we shall have plenty of time to talk privately!" She said it all in a single breath, making her brother laugh.

"Right, no need to rush my love, I'll stay with you, of course. You know you were always my favourite!" He grinned, "But firstly," he nodded to Sirius and Regulus, "I promised the boys to take them over to Gambol and Japes's and get them a few treats."

She frowned, "You do spoil them." Her voice held disdain and a submissive quality of someone who knew it was futile to argue. "Right, in that case I'll be heading home now, to direct Kreacher on what is to be prepared for dinner, while you boys do what you must." Her eyes sparkled while she looked at her brother, who looked so much like herself, with his green eyes, full lips and sculpted face. His hair, unlike hers, was dark, falling to his shoulders in dark, romantic waves, softening his angled face.

She suddenly frowned, no doubt noticing his attire. He wore a white shirt, under a leather jacket and tight Levis jeans, dark boots tying up to his ankles. "And do discard yourself of that muggle wear. I know it is a requirement for your job, but do try and look respectable when you enter my house." She raised her eyebrows, punctuating each word clearly, to ensure he took her seriously.

He chuckled back, "Why, I wouldn't _dare_ enter the magnificent Number 12 Grimmauld _Palace_ without first knowing I am wearing the right attire, of course! I shall wear my best set of robes for you, dear sister." His smile was wide, showing off pearly white teeth, but none of them failed to miss the irony in the comment. While Walburga saw the Black family as Royalty, it was widely known, while unsaid, that Alphard Black disagreed with those views, even while he made an effort to keep his family happy, Merlin knew well enough he'd never be able to marry any of his cousins, as his sister had, for the sake of blood purity.

Either way, he was happy to spend time with his nephews. He saw a promise of a new future in them, perhaps if he could help Sirius, he would be able to influence his own little brother in time. Perhaps. He smiled at them showing off his perfect white teeth again, wiggled his brows and said, "Ready to raid Gambol and Jape's?"

They both grinned back widely, showing more than willingness to get there. The short walk towards the magical joke shop was filled with such excitement and laughter from the boys, that Alphard almost suspected they weren't really given the chance to be boys by his sister. He examined the way they both behaved, catching themselves when they spoke a bit too loudly, or got a bit too excited, but eventually both relaxed and felt more at ease when they understood Alphard wasn't going to reprimand them for it.

He frowned, unhappy with the way his sister and her husband had been treating the boys. Children should be allowed to be children, after all. They weren't adults, as much as they tried to be; he'd seen it in that shop, the way they were both so wary of their mother, yet unable to contain themselves and it pained him to see their childhood stolen from them. He vowed to himself there to try and give them as much time to be children as he could, whenever he was with them.

And so, they arrived at Gambol and Jape's Wizarding Jokes shop, both boys running through the small, narrow corridors, filled with all sorts of wondrous magical games, spells, jinxes and toys that could be used to play pranks of most kind, and Alphard couldn't help but smile with his nephews as he heard them tell their devious pranking plans for their unbeloved cousins.

"We can put this in her drink, and then she'll grow tentacles instead of arms and legs!" exclaimed Regulus, a smile of glee in his face as he examined a purple package depicting a woman with tentacle arms, and they all laughed.

"But remember, only one joke each. No more!" warned Alphard Black, wagging his finger and raising his eyebrows for good measure. A look of shocked disappointment crossed Regulus's eyes, as he looked at all the treats in his hands, obviously intent on deciding which one to take for himself and having a hard time choosing.

Sirius, on the other hand, had quite a confident and assured look, as he crossed the corridor to return the unwanted item. A smirk crept on Alphard Black's face, recognising the young boy's actions. It was funny how alike he and Sirius were, even though he wasn't his son. He calmly returned, with a sure look to his face and a crooked smile on his lips.

"What did you get?" Alphard asked Sirius, eyeing the small brown package.

"Now why would I reveal my special delivery for Bella?" he had a mysterious look to him that Alphard respected, and so he grinned and patted his back.

"I'm sure I'll hear about it." They both shared a look between them that made Sirius, for the first time in a long time, feel accepted and understood.

Regulus joined them soon after, getting his way, as usual, with the Squid Limbs package, as well as a sour lollipop, which Alphard had accepted, since both things had been a bit of a treat for him. Before going home, Alphard treated the boys to an Florean Fortescue's Ice-cream Parlour, while he quickly went to fetch a robe for himself at Twilfitt and Tattings, the pureblood's magical tailor of predilection, knowing his sister would be upset if he went anywhere else. He left the shop already wearing the new robes, receiving a bewildered glance from the shop-owners, and returning for the boys as quickly as he could.

They took a Black Coach home, to ensure both the Black heirs were safe, as Alphard knew his sister would have wanted. He sometimes wondered about the education the children were being given, and if he should intervene, but quickly retracted from that thought, knowing that as only a branch of the Black family, his opinion would never be allowed or welcome in the heir Black family's affairs; they were after all, the main representatives of their family, their ego's wouldn't even allow the consideration of another's opinions without first asking for, and directing those same opinions.

The older wizard looked toward the boys, both black-haired and so alike in appearance, but so different in personalities. He could tell then that Sirius would eventually stray from the path indicated by his parents and pursue his own, if only given the right push and support. Regulus, on the other hand, he seemed too timid and feeble to ever have that same courage. He simply didn't have the same spark in his eyes, the same flame his brother possessed, that would drive him to great things.

Without even noticing, his hand had climbed atop the older Black's head in an affectionate pet, earning a startled look from the young boy and a reassuring smile from himself. He might not ever be able to meddle in the way his parents chose to educate him, but he would certainly not deter from supporting the boy as much as he could. Of that he was certain.

When they finally arrived at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, Walburga was already outside, waiting their arrival. She examined her brother's appearance meticulously with intent eyes, and finally left a tug lift the corners of her red lips in approval. "Do come in, dinner is ready to be served." She'd subtly instructed, leading them into the dining room, where she sat at the head of the table first, followed by her brother, as courtesy demanded, Sirius and finally Regulus.

Kreacher served dinner, as always, which was held silently, and for the adults, mellowed with an exotic wine. Sirius couldn't wait for dinner to end, and he was usually not the type to ever think of anything but the food. He so wanted to talk with his uncle, to know his latest adventure, and hear as he spoke of his latest trip to a mysterious place Sirius had yet to visit. He wanted to fly away from his enclosed life of obedience and study, day after day, to see what his uncle had seen, learn from him, and maybe one day, be just like him, so he was overly excited when dinner was finally over and the family joined together in the living room, by the fireplace.

"Where did you go this time, Uncle Al?" Sirius asked eagerly, unable to contain his curiosity, eyes brimming with wonder and excitement, earning a chuckle from his uncle. And even a half smile from his mother.

"Now Sirius, I'm sure your uncle is quite tired from his travels, try not to pester him into exhaustion." She said, voice light as falling snow, eyes dark and warning.

Uncle Alphard immediately spoke in his defence, "Oh dear sister, would you really think I'd be taken down so easily?" he smiled again, beckoning both his nephews closer, eyes intense as he commenced his tale. "It all started when we heard rumours of a mythical Dragon Tomb in China, which had been reported missing for over five centuries. Now, you boys don't know, but this tomb, supposedly contained the Elder Scrolls, containing detailed documentation of some of the most powerful, East Asian magic known to wizard-kind." He immediately had both the boy's attention's, fully engrossed in his story; even his sister Walburga, who did her best not to be noted paying attention, was very much captive of her brother's adventures.

He described secret passages, an entrance through the clouds, how he'd found a companion in the Medic Wizard O. B. Huan, who had further knowledge on the location of the scrolls. They had first travelled to Shanghai to acquire a map that would lead them through the ancient sky labyrinth, and both had gotten hurt in that mission, but it wouldn't stop them from reaching their goals, because Alphard Black was nothing if not persistent, and he always got what he wanted.

It had been months searching for the sky entrance, both on their brooms, until they had finally discovered it, and unravelled how to enter it. Once inside, they found that the map was quite special, and was as much as a labyrinth as any other element of their entire journey, and so they sat and puzzled over it. With Alphard's expert analytical skills and Huan's detailed readings, they finally found a way to navigate through the mountains and retrieve the scrolls, now safely kept in the British Magical Museum.

"I must say, had it not been for dear old Huan's ninja potions against those dragon's we'd probably both be Wizard Shish Kebbab by now!" He laughed, green eyes filled with humour, earning a frown of disapproval from his sister.

"Honestly Alphard, a wizard of your stature, one of the Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, working like any _common_ wizard, putting yourself in those situations…it pains me to hear it, when you could be living the life that was meant for you, a life of Aristocracy, a life where you could be…"

"Bored out of my mind!" He interrupted with a barking laugh, so typical of the Blacks. Walburga looked scandalised, which only served to fuel his humour, "Really sister, what do you take me for? I could never waste my life away, living some aristocratic life, going to pretentious parties, and all shallow nonsense." Her scowl darkened, at which he smirked. "Why, I'd never excel in throwing such dinner parties as you do, dear sister, I'd be a glorified gigolo if I stayed in the high circles of wizarding society in London. Better to keep myself busy, don't you agree, boys?" He quickly dismissed the conversation, looking to the children.

They hadn't any clue whatever he'd been on about, but nodded anyway, happy to agree with any observation from the coolest family member they had. Walburga sighed, casting a glance at her brother, her eyes telling him he was stepping on thin ice, but also that she would allow it if he knew which lines not to cross. "I think it's time for bed now boys." She said coolly, ignoring a string of protest hailing from both boys, as she elegantly lifted her frame to a standing position, swift and gentle as any court lady should behave, she walked towards them.

"I would like to tuck them in, actually, if you wouldn't mind, sister." Her younger brother asked, eyes sincere as they looked at the boys. It always melted her heart, the care with which he regarded her own children, and a smile tugged at her lips. After all, he was her favourite brother. "Of course, Alphard."

After he'd tucked in Regulus and had him ready to sleep, snuggled by his sheets, he went for his other nephew, Sirius. He knocked before entering, and when he did, he saw him gazing out the window. The skies were clear outside, chilly, the moon half-hidden by darkness, coyly inviting onlookers to gaze at her beauty, nested in a sea of glimmering, blue shine. And his expression was so intense, so worried, much too old for a boy who would only reach six years of age in a month.

He sat beside him on his bed and patiently gazed outside in silent companionship, side-by-side, as an equal to his nephew, waiting for him to speak. And when he finally did, it broke his heart. "Sometimes I wish I'd never been born," the boy said, sincere and true as any heart could be.

Alphard Black breathed in deeply, trying to think of an answer, but before he could give one, Sirius Black continued. "All mother ever wants of me is perfection… she only loves Regulus. She gives him breakfast in bed and holds his hand… He's the one she never lets dad teach the Dark Arts to." Sirius looked to him in mortified silence, a silver thread running down his pale cheek, eyes darkened by shadows, hiding his emotions as he'd obviously been taught. But he couldn't hide the broken tone to his voice, or the silent shake of his shoulders as he contained his sobs. "Why are muggles so evil? Just today I saw a muggle family…and they looked so happy, Uncle. Why must I hate them so much? Why can't we be like them? Why can't father take me on his shoulders like that muggle dad did, and laugh, and talk about things like music?" Grey met green, in a fiery haze of emotions, as the words left his lips like the winter stormy sea, violent and relentless and unconstrained.

It was as if he'd been waiting his entire life, as short as it had been, to say them to someone. Alphard breathed in once more, embracing his nephew, cradling him against his chest. What horrors had this child been through at such a young age that made him think like someone thrice his age, yet weep in pain on his own, afraid of being himself.

He had seen the difference between the two children, and attributed it instantly to their age difference and Sirius's obvious prodigious talent, but to know they'd been treated differently, to know that was why he wasn't allowed the smallest hint of a childhood his own brother had, it pained him.

Suddenly, he broke the embrace, startling the child before him. "Sirius" he started, locking intense eyes onto desperate ones, "Don't ever let them tell you how to think." His little eyes widened at that, as he sucked in a breath. "See the world with your own eyes, make your own judgement, don't ever let anyone tell you how to think Sirius." His small frame was frozen by this, as his uncle grabbed his shoulders, desperately wanting to engrave the message in his mind. "You may have to hide it for some time, years even, but don't ever let anyone take your reason, your mind and," he poked his finger in his chest, "especially your heart away from you. You own those. And one day, you'll own your own life." Sirius's eyes were filled with raging emotions, a hurricane of thoughts he hadn't even started to process or comprehend. "Learn how to please them, for now. And whenever you need to, send me a letter. I will always find you as long as I live, Sirius Black. You have my blood in your veins son, thicker than anyone else's. We weren't born to be caught in this rotting old '_Toujours pur_' net, we were born to live free and do great things."

Sirius Black had never been so torn in his life, the last words he remembered of that night were his uncle's, "Remember, it's only right if _both_ your heart and mind agree to it."

That night, it would change the course of his life in ways neither would have expected.

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As always, thanks for reading! It would be great to know your thoughts :)


	3. Gaslight

**Disclaimer:** This Fan fiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. If indeed I owned copyright for Harry Potter, I obviously wouldn't be writing a fanfic for Sirius Black, but instead directing the movie. And, of course, "Gaslight", belongs to the weird and wonderful Emilie Autumn.

**My Betas:** Thank you for all the long hours you've spend discussing this story and it's chapters with me, and trying to make this work. This just wouldn't be as good without all your help and input! Take a bow **DarkenedStar **and **krystalMage**

**Warnings:** This chapter might trigger uncomfortable memories for any emotional/physical abuse survivours.

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**Gaslight**

_We've tried to fight this, but we can never win_  
_And in the gaslight that brings both life and death_  
_If it's like last night this could be my last breath  
__And so I hold tight to any hands I see  
__But nothing's alright, they're always watching me_

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The cold, damp air captured him in a chilly embrace which offered no compassion or love for him. His eyes slowly found the will to open, and through the foggy cold blue haze, he made out the familiar ceiling. How long had it been? Hours? Days? He took a deep breath and a sharp, stab of pain took over his ribcage. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe, and in his panic, sharp coughing was the only thing that escaped his lips. His warm breath came out, mixed with flying bits of blood that left an unattractive blob on his palm. He looked down towards himself, towards the bed he still bled in, hands trembling, lips dry and cracking, and it finally hit him. The pain he had probably passed out from, Merlin knew how long ago.

He tentatively tried lifting his torso, and the sharp pain he'd felt before in his ribcage, now spread out throughout his entire body. He suspected no wizard in this earth had mastered the Cruciatus curse quite the same way his father had. Orion Black knew exactly how to take the curse to its limit, driving his victim to the brink of insanity, how to break every single bone in a body without killing, how to use the curse's full potential of inflicting unbearable agony, making it last out for hours until he finally decided to stop.

Had this entire ordeal been worth the crimson pond of blood, which still pooled around him, as he lay on his bed? If his little brother wasn't worth dying for, nothing was. He would repeat it a thousand times over, if need be, to ensure Regulus was safe. He took another deep breath, this time prepared for the pain that accompanied the effort. He grit his teeth and tried to rise his torso once more, as fast as he would dare.

_There_. He gave himself a mental pat on the back. He now sat on his bed and could examine his surroundings better, as he made another small effort to slide his bum backwards and plumped the pillow he had just been resting on behind his back. Another deep breath. Right, now for what truly mattered: he needed to know, more or less, how long it had been since those countless, horrid moments of torture. He looked towards the window, making out the faint bluish, lilac hue of early dawn. It had been, in the very least, a full night, he silently deducted. Also, as he'd vaguely noted before, he could now confirm firmly that he was still in his own room, at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. He supposed his mother had gotten Kreacher to heal his wounds, surely if he'd been taken to St. Mungos his parents would have to have explained the abuse he'd been subjected to, or so his cousin Cissy had told him once.

Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. Regulus' birthday was supposed to be only a few days away, but Sirius had no idea how long he'd been unconscious for. He hoped, from the bottom of his heart, he hadn't missed it because of all this nonsense. He truly did. And just as he was about to start out of his bed and ask one of the portraits what day it was, a light 'pop' caught his ears, and his head immediately turned to the source of the sound.

Sirius didn't know whether to smile or frown; if their parents found Regulus out of his quarters at this time at night, they'd be sure to punish him. Everything he'd endured in place of his brother, would have been for naught. Of course if there was anyone in the household capable of making the dedicated house elf break the rules, it was his brother, with his lovable big emerald eyes, warm smile and fragile figure. In the end, seeing his brother's wide eyes filled with worry, love and adoration for him, as he quickly, but quietly, made a dash towards his bed, Sirius's soft side won out, as a smile broke into his face; Regulus had practically bounced onto the bed, on top of him, crushing him into a tight hug. Sirius gasped in pain, causing Regulus to immediately attempt to back away from him, vibrant green eyes filled with worry, but Sirius didn't care. His brother was the only person in the world he'd wanted to see in that moment, so he crushed him into a tight, heartfelt embrace against his chest, easing away the former cold from his body and heart. They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, until Sirius finally pulled away.

He looked into Regulus's eyes, a mirror of their mother's own emerald orbs, and in them he saw relief, joy, worry, a hurricane of emotions that would threaten to overtake even the sturdiest of rocks in their intensity. A whisper finally left his brother's lips, "Brother… I was so worried! You were out for much longer than normal…. I thought I'd finally done it to you, when even on my birthday you didn't wake up…"

Tears were forming in the beautiful spring coloured depths, but Sirius put a feathery finger to his brother's lips, hushing him to silence, offering him the brightest smile, as he whispered back, "Don't you dare put the blame on yourself, alright? This is father's fault, not yours."

"But if only I were a better student, like you…" strings of silver finally left his eyes, flowing freely down his rounded young cheeks, and Sirius would listen to no more of it.

"And if I hadn't been clumsy enough to distract father, by breaking a family heirloom, you would have been in this bed instead and might have missed your own birthday." His tone held a finality to it, Regulus knew he couldn't argue against. Sirius's heart was breaking as the realization that he'd missed his own little brother's 5th anniversary crashed down onto him, and he quickly changed the subject, if only to distract himself from his own guilt of a failed promise. "How was it?"

His brother's eyes were downcast, hiding his feelings from him, but a small sigh betrayed him when it revealed his unhappiness. "It was alright, I guess. Aunty Druella and Uncle Cygnus came by, along with Bella, Andy and Cissy. It was good to spend time with them, since we don't see them very often, but Cissy said she's going to Hogwarts this year, and so she said she has to act like a lady now and can't play with me anymore." His eyes were still downcast, as another soft sigh escaped his lips. He briefly locked eyes with Sirius, who listened intently, and Regulus knew then that, unlike everyone else, his brother would listen. He would always listen to him. He looked towards the window then, whispering something he was unsure if it was good or bad to Sirius, "There came a few other pure blood families I didn't know too well… the Nott's and the Goyle's…" He seemed to try and remember more names, but couldn't.

So, they were finally introducing his little brother to wizarding society. They were preparing him for the duties he would have after this, not a minute too late. His mother would have probably protested against him, as she always tried to protect both him and his brother, but their father must have insisted, and he had the final word. "Were they your age then?" Sirius asked, distracting his brother from his worries.

His eyes seemed to lighten briefly as he thought of his answer, "Well, a few were older and a few were younger…" His face slowly fell once more. "Everyone was asking for you…" Sirius sighed. He knew how much his parents liked showing off their very own 'prodigious son', even if he was uncomfortable with it. And he couldn't even imagine what it was like for little Regulus to be in such a position, to always seem to walk on his shadow. His birthday was a day when he should feel special and shine.

Sirius locked eyes with Regulus once more, delicately holding his chin in his hand, almost afraid it would break if he were too forceful with the youngest Black. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you, Regulus." He meant it from the bottom of his heart, and even before the little one opened his mouth, Sirius knew he'd been forgiven. It was simply the nature of his little brother, he held no grudges. He was just pure and naïve and loved freely and openly, unlike any other Black he had met.

Even Andromeda, who was by far his favourite cousin, couldn't compare to the gem that was Regulus, in all his will to be strong, he was as fragile and rare as a blossom in the winter snow. He could only hope that Regulus could overcome his own frailties, because he was sure Orion wouldn't. And Sirius knew that as much as he tried, there could be a day when he couldn't be there for him, probably during his first year spent at Hogwarts. He had to help him as much as he could while he was still able to. Sirius was rewarded with his brother's smile, as he immediately responded, "Sirius, I don't have anything to forgive, you couldn't be with me on my birthday because of me."

His eyes were beginning to pool with tears again, when Sirius heard a fair sound, a creek of the wooden floor just outside their door. He immediately hushed his little brother by indicating with his index finger in front of his lips that he should be silent. He silently called Kreacher with his eyes, who he hadn't acknowledged until just then, and gestured for him to take his brother into his own room, and with an air of panic, the house elf did as commanded. Kreacher and Sirius had developed a mutual despise over the years, agreeing on only one thing: Regulus's safety. It was their only middle ground.

Sirius watched as Kreacher quickly held his brother's arm, disapparating together with a faint 'pop' not a minute too soon, as the door was pushed open just as they went. Before him stood none other than his mother, Lady Walburga Black, with her pristine golden locks loose from her habitual chignon, skin paler than usual, eyes puffy and swollen, dark circles underlining them.

His breath was caught on his throat at her appearance. Never had Sirius seen his mother in such state, never had a single hair strayed from her classic style, nor had he seen her without any make-up covering her beautiful features. Most of all, never had Sirius witnessed the desperate, swollen look in her eyes as she looked at him.

Silently, desperately, she walked to him, surprising as she descended on him, crushing his bruised body with both arms, tighter than she'd ever done. He stood motionless in shock, his brain still trying to process what was happening, and then he felt her body shaking softly against him, soft sobs following, brushing against his ear like a mournful caress, and Sirius finally felt his arms encircling her back.

They sat motionlessly, the silence only broken by her soft sobs and mumbled words he couldn't make out, and never in his life had Sirius felt as loved by his mother as he did then. He'd known both his parents had pride in him, his accomplishments within magic only fuelling their beliefs that blood purity would lead to stronger magic, he stood as proof of their ideals, the living embodiment of their family's collective effort.

But he'd barely felt loved as a son by either Walburga or Orion. Even with his full effort to become the best he could be with the magic he had and was allowed to practice with, their smiles didn't reach their eyes, no warmth was left for him, yet he still didn't abandon the light thread of hope that flowed from his heart. He hadn't noticed the tears slid down his cheeks until he'd felt her warm thumbs brushing them away, soft as a feather.

"You're alive…" she choked out as silently as she could. His father must have left, Sirius thought to himself, or his mother wouldn't have been here for fear of being caught. "My strong, cunning boy…" And for the first time in years she had a true smile that reached her emerald orbs, orbs that showed him relief, happiness, pride…love.

His heart was beating as he timidly smiled back. Maybe, just maybe, she loved him. She took her wand from her robes, swishing it into the air and producing a tray filled with the most delicious breakfast he'd even seen in his life: pumpkin juice, warm pancakes towering in a plate covered in syrup, warm toasts and butter, a chocolate frog and a package of Bertie Bott's all flavour jelly beans!

Just then, for that moment, Sirius imagined he was his mother's favourite, instead of Regulus, he imagined he was the one that always got a glimpse of that smile in her eyes, or that secretive glance of love, or even the occasional hug, and for that moment alone, Sirius was happy.

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As always, thanks for reading, following and favouriting and please leave any reviews bellow, if there's any ideas you might have, I'd like to hear them and know if they have already been addressed or if I can fit them in! See you next week!


	4. Dream Home Heartache

**Disclaimer:** This Fanfiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black and what when on in his life, heart and mind. This chapter's inspirational song "Dream Home Heartache" is a cover by to the dark, romantic and wonderful duo Rozz Williams and Gitane Demone, which belongs to Roxi music. Not me.

**For my Betas:** Thank you for all the help and support girls, I'd have given up on this if you weren't here, **krystalMage** and **DarkenedStar**.

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**Dream Home Heartache**

_In every dream home, a heartache  
__And every step I take  
__Takes me further from Heaven  
__Is there a Heaven?  
__Well, I'd like to think so_

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Silvery drops slowly melted down her cheeks, entwining the black eyeliner that descended from emerald orbs. Her trademark, pristine golden locks hung dishevelled around her face, softening her aristocratic features, half still perched on the back of her head. Her scarlet-smeared lips trembled in despair, as she held a hand to her cheek; but the hollow, empty eyes were the final detailed stroke to the woman painted, kneeling on the floor of the master bedroom at Number 12 Grimmauld place.

Sirius stood still as a statue, hidden in the shadows. It was the second time Sirius had witnessed his mother in such a state, one he didn't understand. A silent moan escaped her lips, as she slowly brought her arms into a silent self-embrace. She reminded him of the old ghost stories Uncle Alphard told him, about mad witches who'd died in grief, romantic and beautiful and tragic all the same.

Her body trembled as her nails dug crescent shaped crevices into her skin, teeth violently grazing her lower lip, but it was only when he saw the string of blood trickling down his mother's chin, scarlet and beautiful against pale white skin, that he felt his body moving, in a sudden pang of courage. One step into the light, then another, and so on, until he reached Walburga Black, placing a small, gentle hand against her face, stroking it in that sweet manner he'd longed so much to have received.

Her eyes turned to him, unseeing, body shaking, as if he were but an image at the very back of her mind. Still, Sirius brought his thumb to her chin, trying to clear it the best he could; he knew she wouldn't like it if the guests they expected saw her in this manner. And yet, not a spark rose from behind the beautiful emerald depths, devoid of emotion, unseeing, unfeeling.

"Mother…" he said, as loud as he dared.

Walburga froze, her eyes widening, seeing him_. Hating him. _Cold as steel she slapped his hand away from her chin, he stumbled back, gasping in surprise. "You're his." She had gone from ice to blazing fire, fury burning behind the green depths, chin smeared in the deep red blood he had unsuccessfully tried to clean.

"M-mother?" he heard himself stammer in question. Why was she acting this way? She lifted herself from the floor, standing tall and cruel above him.

"You're his. Your eyes are his, your hair is _his_…you have his mouth and his chin. You'll be like him one day." Her words blazed in anger, an anger he didn't understand, what had he done to receive this fury?

"Yes," She continued, "just like your father…" She spat the words out as if they were something filthy, hand grasping her wand in a shaky grasp, "JUST LIKE HIM!" she screamed. He hadn't even realised she'd raised the wand, until he felt his body hit the wall, the back of his head searing with hot pain as it smacked against concrete, followed by the rest of his body. It hurt, but not as much as the red hot pain he'd felt throbbing behind his eyes, and when he'd opened them, he saw flashing white dots cover his vision. She sneered back at him, and in her eyes he saw reflected a repulsive creature.

"Why are you still here?" she yelled, "You should be ready by now."

Hot tears were running down his cheeks. Why was she doing this to him? What had he done?

Her mouth distorted in anger. "And don't you cry those disgusting crocodile tears! Get out of my sight…"

"But mother, why?" He'd asked as fast as he could; the dots still covered his vision, his body felt weak and sore as he balanced himself on the wall, attempting to stand up, trying to feel as strong as he should be.

"ENOUGH!" she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!"

And as he saw her grab one of her shoes and aim to him, he instinctively knew he had to run. The shoe hit the exact spot on the wall he'd just run from, as he made his way out of the master bedroom, straight into his, listening to the portraits on the wall whisper amongst each other as they looked at him, not caring what they said. None of them liked him anyway. He shut the door behind his back as soon as he'd entered his room, panting.

Looking up he saw his reflection in the mirror, worn and beaten like a street dog. He proceeded to examining the robes he wore. They were the same ones mother had left on the chair for him to dress… why would she think he wasn't ready? He noticed the bit of blood smeared on his face. He wasn't quite sure how it got there, but it wasn't his own, he asserted. He had no cuts, it could only be his mother's. He must have touched his face trying to protect himself when she threw the shoe, or maybe it was before that, when he hit the wall. He didn't quite know how it got there.

His eyes were puffy and pink, his hair dishevelled, and as his reflection looked back at him through the looking glass, the image of what he had thought was good enough to make his mother proud, he crumbled onto the floor, tears falling down his cheeks, body shaking, and all his strength, he didn't know where it had gone, but it certainly wasn't inhabiting him any longer. He heard his own muffled sobs, his nose was running, and he indistinctly thought mother wouldn't like it at all if she noticed it on his sleeve, where he'd cleaned it.

Yet, the tears wouldn't cease, nor would the sobs. His chest hurt. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered. Mother didn't love him. He'd tried so hard to please her, and she didn't care. He wasn't good enough…

It had seemed like hours he'd been on the floor, when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He looked up, hoping to find his mother, hoping to hear her say she was sorry, that she loved him, that he was perfect and she wasn't being fair… and came face to face with his cousin Andromeda. He released a small gasp as his tears stopped in his shock, though he still sobbed.

Andromeda was the least beautiful of his cousins, and though she resembled Bellatrix the most, with her mousy, light brown hair and dark brown eyes, she was no beauty to behold. Not the way Narcissa was, with her classic golden locks and dark blue eyes, or Bellatrix's exotic, dark, contrasting beauty. Yet she was smiling at him, her eyes warm, open and kind, expecting nothing, yet giving so much in return. Andromeda was no beauty compared to her sisters, everyone said. But to him, in that moment, she was the most beautiful witch in his family, he thought, as he threw his arms around her shoulders, receiving a tight embrace in return.

"_It's alright…it's alright little cousin…"_ he heard her whisper into his hair, "_everything will be fine, no matter what, I'm here with you…"_ her voice went on, soothing him, caring for him. Mending him, as tears run warm into her robes, and yet she didn't seem to care, her arms tightening around him further, securing him, letting him know, she was there. Even if no-one else was.

He felt himself calm down, his chest burning with pain, as he brushed his eyes with the back of his hand. His eyes felt swollen and he couldn't see anything in focus, and yet… and yet he could tell she was still smiling, as he felt her warm big hand take his smaller one into her hold, softly ensuring him she wasn't gone.

"_Sirius, it's time for us to go. Our parents are expecting us."_ She said, voice still soft as sunflower petal, warm as a summer afternoon.

"I don't want to go…" he murmured, not daring to meet her in the eye. Mother would never approve of his appearance and he didn't have time or magic to compose himself in time.

"Nonsense!" She smiled, "We're still not of age to use magic, but Kreacher can help, I'm sure!" she said, smiling brightly, voice filled with confidence. Finally he met her eyes. He really wanted to be as confident as she was… "Come. You know the Yule Ball is a most important occasion, your mother would be very disappointed if you missed it Sirius."

He took her hand with a sigh. She was right. "But I don't want to go…" he murmured still, knowing he was acting childish. His mother would have never allowed it, his father would have hexed him on the spot…yet his cousin just giggled in return.

"I don't want to either. Perhaps we'll be able to escape together, I hear Malfoy Manor has a massive garden. With a bit of luck and some sneaking around we might just be able to escape after dinner!"

As soon as she said it, Sirius was grinning like the Cheshire cat, ear to ear. "You promise?"

She giggled further, nodding, as she brought him to Kreacher. Sirius stilled. He'd never really gotten along with the house elf. He wasn't quite sure why, but something had always made him dislike the creature.

"Kreacher, would you be able to glamour master Sirius for me?" She asked with her most polite voice, earning a smile from the house elf.

"Kreacher will do anything for his pureblood missus." He said slowly, turning to Sirius. He saw a spark in the elf's eye, as he snapped his fingers using elf magic to glamour him into pristine condition, just as Walburga Black joined them.

She looked so beautiful in her golden and emerald robes, pristine make-up and hair held up by emeralds in an elaborate up-do. "Kreacher…" she smiled at the elf, "You're such a good elf. Good work, young Sirius here apparently hasn't learned to ready himself without aid yet." She said, voice dripping with cold sarcasm.

Sirius's eyes turned cold as he looked at the elf in front of him, melting in his mother's praise. He hated him. Sirius couldn't believe how much he hated him. How could she say that he was better than Sirius, her own son? He thought angrily, glaring at the elf. When the elf's eyes met his own, he saw bewilderment in his depth, as well as hurt.

"Master Sirius is all ready now, madam." He took a deep bow, pointedly ignoring him.

Sensing the tension, Andromeda chirped in like a bird in spring, "Well now that we're all set and together, we can finally go!" she grinned.

Walburga raised an eyebrow to her niece, voice cool. "You really are an oddball, aren't you? You should listen to your mother's advice girl, lest no wizard will ever want you."

He noted his cousin's smile falter slightly, but she recovered soon after, looking into his eyes, her smile never leaving her lips. "Well, I'll try my best aunt." She said, grabbing his hand, and leading him outside to the carriages that would take them to Malfoy Manor.

The ride had been long and tedious. His aunt had complained most of the way about Walburga's insistence in that dreadful manner of transportation, why not just floo themselves there? She had asked, frustration clear in her voice, as she looked outside the window, into the pitch black of winter night. Walburga never bothered to explain, but uncle Alphard had once told Sirius that the only reason his mother always insisted on riding a carriage was because she liked making an entrance, and flooing or apparating never really made for a dignified, almost royal appearance.

His father and uncle hadn't ridden with them in the carriage led by Thestrals, which the Black family had been permitted by the ministry to use for labour on such occasions. They'd left earlier than the rest of the family, claiming they still had some business to attend with the minister and would meet them at the Manor for the ball, flooing himself there instead. Lucky bastard, thought Sirius, sighing. Outside the window, not even the moon had made an appearance. Only darkness greeted them, entwined with the occasional lights underneath them from the muggle houses.

Sirius was about to sigh in boredom once again, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked to find Regulus sitting next to him, biting his lip with a twinkle on his eye. He raised a brow in response. Whatever his brother was thinking, he wanted in. Regulus sat quietly besides his brother, both had learned the art of communicating without saying a word. Regulus waited until his brother's eyes met his own, and once he was sure he'd follow, he discreetly drew his gaze forward, then slightly to the left, where Sirius left his orbs to find the image of a sleeping Bellatrix, sat down with her hands on her lap, gently snoring. Sirius almost laughed out loud, but was able to muffle it with Regulus's pinch to his leg.

He quietly glared at his brother, who gave him a 'don't ruin it' look. Sirius frowned, but resigned himself. He was right. If they were going to have any fun at all during the ride, they mustn't draw attention to themselves. That was the first rule of marauders. Or so they had decreed. Sirius looked around himself, examining who sat in the carriage with them. Bella was sleeping opposite them by the window, his mother and aunt Druella had gone to the upper floors to sip tea, while Narcissa and Andromeda were probably already there, doing whatever it was girls did. Probably talking about boys or kissing, like always; though why anyone would to kiss at all was strange to him; kissing was disgusting.

Either way, with no-one to witness they could probably both take revenge for that time Bella had told on them for the time when they got Theodor Nott to poo in the middle of Mrs. Malfoy's centre flower garden. They'd all thought it hysterical, but Mrs. Malfoy wasn't of the same opinion, unfortunately, nor was his mother. They had to plant a whole section of the garden for three days for that. And all because of stupid Bella, who never kept her mouth shut.

She wasn't even that goodie, she just pretended in front of the adults. Sirius knew because he'd heard Cousin Cissy say that she was caught with two different boys in a broom closet at Hogwarts, whatever that meant, but if Cissy reckoned it was bad, it must have been. She just really liked to see them suffer. Sirius frowned, with that thought in mind to fuel his need for revenge, and a less boring ride. At this point, he didn't even care if he had to plant three sections of Mrs. Malfoy's garden, he'd do anything if he could have his way.

Breathing in he, looked around him to think about what he could do to his cousin, something that would bring no unwanted attention to him, when Regulus tapped his shoulder again, looking around them to make sure nobody saw, and fished into his pocket. Sirius' eyes widened when he saw what his brother carried with him. He'd never been more proud of his younger brother than in that very moment, as a packet of Dragon Dung stink bombs glistered in his palm. Their grins mirrored each other, ear to ear, as their gazes drifted towards their cousin. They spent the remainder of the ride exchanging knowing looks as they silently planned out their attack strategy. She'd be stinking all throughout the ball.

As soon as they'd arrived at Malfoy Manor both Sirius and Regulus had been ushered away by house elves, they'd be entering through the side door, as they were still too young to be recognised as members of society and enter through the main doors, which suited Sirius just fine. He didn't want to walk in after stupid Bella anyway.

As both boys finally made their way in through to the main ballroom, Regulus gasped in awe, "Sirius, I bet if we took our shoes off we could just slide down to the other side of the room!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Sirius laughed, tempted to actually do it, the floor was shiny and polished enough that it seemed possible to do it, but he knew better than to do such a thing in a public space. Orion Black would have never tolerated such behaviour that night.

"Maybe we can do it when everyone's gone, Reg…" He said in a slightly more composed voice, spying the main door in the centre of the ballroom, with a large red velvet carpeted staircase that led to it, and the columns standing beside each side of the door. The perfect place to hide and throw the Dragon Dung bomb onto Bella's dress without being noticed. "Right now, I think we can put that little idea of yours in action…" he smirked at his brother, nudging his pocket.

Regulus grinned back, noticing his brother's inclination towards the door.

"The Lady Walburga Black, wife of Orion Black, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black." Announced the wizard at the door, and at that moment everyone in the room stilled to look towards the entrance, where Sirius saw his mother enter, in all the Golden and Emerald glory, like a goddess of old, and for a moment he almost forgot his destination, if it weren't for Regulus signalling him they could pass behind the wizards and witches gathering near the staircase. He was right, if they didn't do it now, they'd have no other chance. Sirius grinned, making his way up the stairs, as quick as his legs could carry him behind his brother.

They both pressed their backs against the massive Corinthian column, panting as low as they could behind it, as the same wizard announced "The Lady Druella Black, wife of Cygnus Black, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black." And then they saw her, Bellatrix. She stood in line, just inside the curtain that separated the outside doors from the inside of the ball.

Regulus handed the stink bombs to Sirius, whispering, "Do you really think you can do it Sirius?"

Sirius breathed in nervously. He'd only been practicing for a few months, and still wasn't too sure if he could pull it off…yet, he couldn't let this chance slip by. This was the only way it would work with them undetected. So he nodded confidently, concentrating all his magic and energy on the little vial in his hand. He had to be able to do it, he'd been practicing his magic every single day. With a deep breath, he saw his cousin walk out, to stand at the top of the stairs while her name was announced, and without thinking, he opened the vial and with his magic commanded the liquid to fly unnoticed onto the back of Bellatrix's robes.

Regulus hopped in excitement, "You did it!" He mouthed excitedly to his brother.

Sirius grinned back, taking his hand and leading him down the stairs, pausing halfway to look back, catching a look of nausea and disgust cross his Cousin's elegant features, as well as those of the wizards surrounding her.

He suppressed his laughter as he continued to make his way down the staircase. As soon as they got down, they tried to mingle with the crowd, hearing a few comments that made them laugh, "It seems like the Miss Bellatrix Black has chosen the wrong perfume for the occasion," drawled an older witch, receiving giggles from the witches around her.

But just as the boys had found a spot to stay in, they were approached by a House Elf in a uniform, "Young Masters, I is Kooki, your father is asking me to bring the young masters to him, he is waitin' youse both, that is, and he is requiring your company, as heirs, the Master Black said." he started, in his broken English, hoping to convince the young duo. Were it anyone else, the two boys would have caused mischief with the elf, however, with their father calling, they wouldn't even attempt to do anything that would cause anything that could get them into trouble.

They nodded and followed the elf quietly, Sirius still snickered whenever he heard comments about his cousin's odour, considering it a victory for the night. His father awaited them, his shoulders squared and his posture perfectly regal and overpowering. His face displayed only confidence and arrogance, an air of royalty that made all those surrounding him believe him to be almost a king. Sirius thought it ridiculous that they would, even as he himself felt subdued by his father's presence.

"Ah, here they are!" his words were smooth silk, his smile was charming, poised in an elegant, attractive jaw. His short hair made his features look sharp against the moustache that covered his upper lip. He grabbed Sirius by the shoulders when he was at arms-reach from his father, leading him to his side, so that all the wizards and witches surrounding them could inspect him. "My heir, only turned seven this past month, but already so advanced in his magical studies." To any who didn't know Orion, he sounded like a proud father, someone who loved his son dearly. To his family, they all knew this was but a game of power, showcasing his offspring, presenting them to society before any of the other houses with boys his age had the chance to. Technically, Regulus wasn't even of age to attend the Annual Yule Ball, being only five and a half years old, however, Orion and Walburga had made it a requirement for their presence this year.

"Oh, he is the spitting image of yourself Orion," Dorea Potter said immediately, a kind smile on her face. Sirius knew it not to be a sham, as it reflected in her eyes.

"We had to leave James home, he's too young still for this sort of thing. I'll have to commend your family on educating your heirs for that, Black," said Charlus Potter, with a smile on his face, that Sirius noted reached his eyes as well. How peculiar these two were in the midst of all the refined, sarcastic, cold purebloods surrounding them.

"Why Aunt Dorea, it is indeed an honour to have your approval of my two sons," said Walburga, smirk in place. And while her voice said that, Sirius didn't need to know how cold her eyes were, or how she thought them inferior to herself. After all, Great-Aunty Dorea was no longer a Black like the rest of them. His mother and father probably wanted to show them who they should consider their superiors.

Charlus Potter however, chuckled politely, and in answer said, "Why I know you both have far worthier people to take praise from. An old couple like ourselves, who've only finally decided to have a child, far past our prime, are no one to take honour from."

Sirius noted that even though the smile never left the kind wizard's face, his eyes were stern as steel. "We'll see you around the ball, Orion, Walburga." He nodded to each, before extending his arm for his wife to link her hand through, and turned their backs to mingle with other people.

The process was repeated several times throughout the night before dinner was served. Far too many, if any at all, cared to ask for Sirius or Regulus's opinion, with varied reactions from the other wizards and witches. Some barely contained their envy through yellowed smiles and gritted teeth, some bowed and praised the Blacks, hoping to be on their best side and form an allegiance for their own son's and daughter's who'd be attending Hogwarts with the two Black family heirs. Others raised their brows in quiet contemplation, however, Sirius noted that none dared oppose or ridicule Orion Black and his family.

When the time finally came for the Yule dinner, their family had been sat with the French Devereux family, who had been discussing the new Magical Treaty between France and England with his father, for the past several months. Sirius had been placed between his father and Regulus, his mother by his father's other side, and Mademoiselle Chantal Deveroux across from his father.

"It is with great honour," called the minister's voice from his own table, next to the one Sirius's family was sat in, "That we commence the 1966 Yule Ball Feast, in celebration of the Winter Solstice, the longest and most magical night of the year. This celebration has been dating back for centuries, from the beginning of times. Our ancestors, the druids commenced it, but…" he paused for effect, "as we all well know, the Stonehenge built by them for this particular event has been plagued by muggles for a few centuries" a few chuckles followed at this statement, "however, the Malfoy family generously, as they have always been, have lent us their estate to celebrate this most important night of the year." He paused again, extending his hand in the direction of the Malfoy table, who arrogantly smiled, nodding in appreciation of the attention drawn to themselves. "The night when all our magic is in its highest point and we celebrate our history, our legacy and magic. Now, without further due, let's dig in!" finished the jolly older Wizard.

Sirius couldn't have been happier to dig in; he'd been famished for hours, especially after all the running about to make sure Bella wouldn't get her payback. He barely cared about the way the crystal flutes glimmered in the candlelight, how the ceiling had been enchanted to appear as a clear night sky, or how beautifully the golden table clothes matched the also golden plates and napkins. All he cared about was the pumpkin roast turkey, presented in a tray before him, the Wizard's pie, the apple sauce, and all the other mouth-watering dishes that covered the narrow tables.

One of the elves filled his plate with as many slices as Sirius had asked for, and Regulus, not wanting to feel as any less, had asked for the exact same as his brother.

"You're not going to be able to eat all that, you're only little!" said Sirius, sticking a mouthful of meat into his mouth, earning a glare from his brother.

"I am too!" Regulus said, ferociously mimicking his older brother.

"Are you sure about that?" Sirius asked, challenging him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" his brother replied.

Sirius smirked, "Let's have a contest shall we?"

"I'm winning!" said Regulus, turning to his plate and stuffing as much food as he could into his mouth, followed by Sirius, who wouldn't dare lose against his younger brother.

As he was about to finish his meal, however, the fork had slipped from his hand and, forgetting his manners in a rush to finish and win their little challenge, he sunk under the table in search of his fork to find Madoiselle Chantal's foot extended into his father's lap.

With this in mind, he drew himself up to his seat once again to find his father looking at him heatedly. He knew that look. It was the look that said if he ever told anyone what he saw, Orion would make sure no one would believe it, and he would know why not for months. Sirius gasped, nodding to his father, letting him know he understood.

Sirius held his breath until his father turned back to his conversation, as if nothing had transpired between them. Sirius briefly wondered why Mademoiselle Deveroux had a foot in his father's lap, why she'd fallen on him to many times and smiled so much. He'd heard his Aunt Druella whisper to his mother that it was most definitely a Veela thing, but hadn't paid much attention. He'd have to speak with his uncle Alphard about it, this sort of topic with his mother was most definitely off limits.

He looked to his side to find his younger brother grabbing his belly with his hands with a pout on his face. "I told you it was too much for you to eat." He smirked, earning a half glare from his younger sibling.

"Well, I ate it all." Regulus half whined, getting up from his seat and walking towards his mother, tugging on her robes and whispering in her ear. She smiled at him, snapping her fingers for a house elf. Shortly after, Regulus came to Sirius's side, "Mummy says I can go home now. I'm sleepy and my belly hurts." He said, with half lidded, drowsy green eyes.

"Baby," Sirius teased with a grin, earning another glare from Regulus.

"I'm not. I just need to rest, that's what mummy said. I had a big day today." He said as sternly as he could, before his expression turned to one of concern. "You'll come right after, right?" he almost seemed to plead. Regulus disliked being taken to Number 12 on his own, with only Kreacher for company. But Sirius was too awake to be tired.

"Yeah, in a while" he said as honestly as he could, earning a smile in return.

"Good…I hate being left alone…" he said rubbing his eye, as the same house elf from before took his hand.

"Master Black, Kooki is now taking younger master Black home now, okay?" said the elf politely, earning a single nod from Sirius. Regulus waved goodbye and with a pop they were gone.

Sirius stayed in his seat a while longer until deserts were served. He tried some of the chocolates all the adults were fawning about, filled with something called Apple Liquor, but with a single bite, Sirius was spitting it out, and earning laughter from all around him, flushing in embarrassment. When all the deserts were done, the adults had started to dance with each other, Cissy and Andromeda were giggling as they looked at the wizards who didn't have a witch to dance with, while Bella had been taken to the floor by Rabastan Lestrange. He'd heard his parents say she'd be betrothed to him soon enough and hopefully marry straight out of Hogwarts. He didn't understand how that made her a lucky witch, or why any witch would want to get married when they could go on adventures as soon as they left Hogwarts, like uncle Alphard.

He was dazing off, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Sirius," he turned in his chair, "we can go now!" Andromeda giggled.

"Go where?" He asked her, dumbstruck. "To the garden, silly!" she said in a hush-hush voice. "I finally got rid of Cissy, she's dancing with Lucius Malfoy, so we can go explore the garden now!" she grinned, receiving the same in return.

"Alright!" he hopped of the chair, following his cousin, who walked as calmly as possible, so no one would think they were up to anything out of the ordinary. If there was one thing being a Black had taught Sirius was that if you didn't want to get caught doing something wrong, you needed to remain calm and act normal.

So they walked over to the double French doors that led to the garden and the massive rose garden labyrinth, where they could both finally run, unconstrained with the rules of pureblood society. They had played tag and gotten lost, reaching the centre of the garden, where a canopy of flowers covered a round marble table with surrounding seats.

The sky was now clear, as opposed to the pitch black that had followed them when they'd set out to the party. They sat side by side, admiring the stars above them, with Andromeda quietly telling him all about the constellations and pointing out where they were. Of course he knew the Sirius constellation well, it was his own after all, but it was nice hearing about the other constellations. Andromeda's constellation was the one representing the beautiful princess who was chained against the rocks to sate the wrath of Poseidon's sea monster Cetus, in an attempt to save the people her parents ruled over. She was saved the by hero Perseus and lived.

Andromeda sighed, looking up.

"Why is it your sisters only want to get married?" He'd asked out of the blue, making his cousin blink in astonishment.

She smiled, "Well, they want to have children and live a happy life Sirius…" she explained.

"What about you, do you want to get married?" he asked, trying to understand her better.

She looked down, sadly. "Oh, my parents want me to marry Lucius Malfoy but…" she paused, seemingly afraid to say what she felt.

"But what?" Sirius asked, curiously.

She looked around them, sighing and locking eyes with Sirius. "I don't like him Sirius… He's… mean." Her eyes were wide and pleading.

"But I thought Cissy was dancing with him?" Sirius asked, and Andy drew a bitter smile to her lips.

"Cissy likes Lucius… I don't get along with him at all…" she said, eyes sad.

"Why don't you get along with him?" he pushed, earning another sigh from his cousin.

"Because I… I like someone else…"

"Then why don't you get married to him?" he asked again.

Andromeda gave him an exasperated look, "I wish it was that simple…but, he's muggle-born, and he's not in Slytherin, and…!"

"He's muggle-born?" Sirius asked excitedly, earning a shocked look from his cousin, "Andy, that's so cool! I wish I knew a muggle-born as well!" His cousin seemed to not know if she should laugh or cry.

"Look, this has to stay between us, okay Sirius? Don't ever tell your mother… or we'll both be in big trouble!" Her eyes were serious and stern about this, even as he saw she was happy to have him by her side.

"I'll never tell on you, Andy. I'll always be your friend." He promised, more serious than he'd ever been in his entire life.

She smiled in return. "Good." She paused. "I won't tell anyone what you did to Bella tonight either." They both giggled, staring into the night. Sometimes you found friends in the most unexpected of places, she mused.

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Thanks for reading and to everyone who's faved, subscribed, reviewed or sent me a PM, it's really encouraging and appreciated knowing you're taking your time to help me with my writing and this story :)


	5. Black Magic

**Disclaimer:** This Fanfiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I really just want to give life to the legacy of the Black family she's left untold, and imagine how all could have happened. On another note, I'm no queen, as you all can imagine, and Bamburgh Castle, beach and location does in no way, shape or form belong to me, it's merely being used as part of my creative licence. Nor does the amazing Slayer's tune, "Black Magic", from the album Show no Mercy, used to inspire this chapter belong to me either, for that matter. Or anything else you may recognise, just to be safe. :)

**To my Beta's: **Thank you, as always, DarkenedStar and krystalMage for the extensive talks and revisions in creating this chapter. Round of applause! :D

* * *

**Black Magic**

_Spells surround me day and night  
Stricken by the force of evil light  
Force of evil light_

_Cast under his spell  
Blinding my eyes  
Twisting my mind_

* * *

Dozens of golden swords slashed through the clouds above, boldly contrasting deep grey-blue against radiant white and gold, plunging into the dark waters, extending into the horizon in front of Sirius's eyes. He'd woken with a start, in an alien bed and room, where he and his brother had slept. His heart was still racing as he examined the view from their window and it took a few minutes until he remembered where he was.

Bamburgh Manor, Northumberland, was located on an island invisible to muggles, overseeing the muggle Bamburgh castle and its beach, protected with a thousand ancient wards and spells Merlin himself had been said to cast. Sirius's side of the mansion had no view of the beach or the castle in question, only the North Sea extending in front of him.

They had arrived the prior night in preparation for his cousin Bellatrix Black's wedding to the pure-blooded wizard, Rodolphus Lestrange, the same one he'd seen dancing with his cousin at the Yule Ball just eight months ago. It still confused him how she could marry him so early in her life… she hadn't even started her final year at Hogwarts…

He envied her so much for being there… then again, he thought himself lucky for not having to attend _with her_ still in there; she'd just tell on anything he did, he was sure of it. He sighed, taking one last look out the window, then across his bed to see his still slumbering brother's limbs spread over the bed, snoring softly with his mouth open. It was still too early for anyone to be awake, he assumed, throwing his legs across to the floor, silently hopping to the ground, in search of his robes. Nobody would mind him wandering if they didn't catch him, he grinned to himself, throwing the clothing over his head, quickly and swiftly. Then, with a look over his shoulder to ensure his brother was still asleep, he crossed over to the door, walking into the corridors of the Manor.

So much to explore, so little time before everyone woke! For a moment, Sirius felt free, _excited_ even, being able to discover new things, experience adventures, just like uncle Alphard! Although, he frowned, he still didn't have a wand and couldn't use magic, so he wasn't as wicked yet. He quietly grinned to himself, thinking he _would__be_.

His footsteps played a pizzicato on the floor, one after the other, quickly as he could, passing by rows of doors and windows, on the corridor until – he stopped abruptly, holding his breath.

_Voices_.

He listened in to the muted speech, approaching where it came from. His better instinct told him to turn around and quickly revert back to his chambers – however – a voice at the back of his head, stronger than his instinct, whispered seductively, _what is it?_

And so, silent as a cat, swift as a dragon, he approached, one foot in front of another, as the voices grew louder, heart drumming against his chest, as he kneeled to the shadows, hidden from the window light, until he reached a door.

"My Lord, we do as you command…" a feminine voice he recognized said, excited and vibrant, resonating against the dark walls of Bamburgh Mansion. With one foot in front of the other, a step followed another, he reached closer and closer, he flattened himself against the wall. The door was slightly ajar.

"You know we would do anything you ask of us, my Dark Lord!" the same eager voice said, startling Sirius into a silent gasp, as he clamped a hand over his mouth, muttering the sound. He had to open the door further. He knew her voice, he _knew it_.

"This marriage…it will mean everything to our cause, Bellatrix. You are one of my best Knights, it is only fitting that you both should be used as an example for all who follow us."

Sirius breathed as silently as he could, pressing his ear against the door, slowly trying to widen the opening further. Yet this voice…this voice, he didn't know. It was rich and dark, seductive even. The same tone his father used to influence people of value. His heart was racing faster, as he felt the door finally give in to his coaxing advances, slowly, as he tried to peer into the room, until finally…he saw it.

She had her back turned towards him, facing only a great mirror, framed in gold, that started at the floor, extending into the ceiling, and there was a _person_ in there. A wizard he was sure. Bellatrix's reflexion couldn't be seen, though her laughter, he heard well. "We aim to please, my Lord," she purred.

"Good," the slurred voice continued, "I do hope you _both_ uphold pure-blood tradition with this marriage. I trust you to cause an impression on today's wizarding society…" his smile was dark as he said, "_Congratulations._ Bellatrix… Rodolphus… I will call you for our next meeting."

Sirius didn't linger to hear any further, his heart racing, as he quickly and quietly run from the door, as fast as his legs could carry him. What had he meant? What was all this?

Thoughts floundering, he lost track of time, or where his feet took him, his only concern was to not get caught. He kept on running, down flights of stairs and corridors, until he hit head first into something soft, and before he knew it, he had his butt-cheeks painfully sat on the cold stone floor.

"Andy? What are you doing here?" He asked immediately, looking up at his favourite cousin, who towered above him, giggling. "What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here?" she asked, in her usual cheerful and carefree manner, her eyes creasing in laugher and warmth, sweet brown eyes revealing all the affection she felt for him, against all she had been taught by their family.

Sirius didn't smile back though, too worried about what he'd just witnessed. Who was the wizard in the mirror? She'd called him _Dark Lord_… Should he tell Andy? He locked his eyes with her, now concerned, brown orbs.

"Sirius, what's the matter?" she asked gently, voice soft as a warm summer breeze, embracing him in a numb feeling of trust.

Before he knew it, he'd pulled her aside into a dim, narrow hallway where he was certain he wouldn't be overheard, and he was telling her all he'd seen. The corridor, the room, the massive mirror, the man, Bellatrix's eager voice…

Andromeda simply looked back to him, eyes frozen in shock. "Sirius, are you sure about what you're saying? This could be very serious…you shouldn't play with these matters…" she said with a heavy heart.

Though she didn't want to believe him, she knew in her heart of hearts Sirius would never lie to her about something like this…yet…he might be just being a child and joking, as he often was. She hoped with all her heart that was the truth.

But as the seconds lengthened, her chest tightened, heart sinking, as she saw the truth in his eyes. They were grey, and dark, and serious as she'd ever seen them.

"Andy…Who was that wizard on the mirror? Should we tell someone about it?" he asked, his voice sounding so much older than it should have been. She sometimes forgot how perceptive he could be, intelligent beyond his years…though he still didn't have the maturity to comprehend certain things, and that was why she had to protect him.

Letting out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding, she said gravely, "No Sirius… I don't think we should tell anyone… not until I know what kind of mess my sister has gotten herself into." Her eyes were stern as she said it, never leaving his grey ones, filled with uncertainty, and now, rebellion.

"But, what if it's dangerous, Andy? We should tell Uncle Alphard, he's not like everyone else in the family! He'd help us, Andy–" Her stern look silenced him.

"Sirius, we can't trust anyone. Don't tell anyone else about this. I'll take care of it. I don't want you or anyone else getting hurt, let me find out what's happening first, alright?" she said, her words trembling, her mind a potion of equal parts doubt, caution, uncertainty and despair. "Come," she took his hand, eager to change the subject, "We should be getting ready to go to the beach, before we arrive there late, the wedding should start in about two hours, so go and check on your brother and make sure you're all there in around an hour, or at the very least thirsty minutes before the wedding starts…" she said, vaguely listening to Sirius mumbling something about early morning weddings and how unreasonable they were to guests, while she attempted to drag him alongside, silently trying to process everything he'd told her and contain her nerves from the world. She could only hope Sirius would keep her secret…

Sirius reluctantly dropped the subject, and returned to his chambers to find his brother still asleep. He grinned, thinking it the perfect opportunity for a prank, just before they both got into their dress robes.

Regulus was still scowling when they arrived at Bamburgh beach, their mother had obviously felt the need to send Kreacher to get them and apparate them there in time, where the wedding was being held. He supposed he shouldn't have thrown cold water at him and screamed the ship was drowning, but his younger brother's reaction was just too good for him to regret it, the look of despair in his face was enough to brighten Sirius' day.

The sun was already high in the sky, the grey clouds had cleared, giving way to a thousand shades of cool azure, surrounding the sun, the wind blew forcefully, pushing the waves into a frenzy of foam and water, dark and beautiful, just the way you'd imagine Bellatrix to have wanted it.

Her dress was made of emerald green, upholding the wizarding traditions that many witches renounced with the introduction of muggle fashion influencing their decision making process to their wedding arrangements. Bellatrix had carefully chosen English-made fabrics, the most traditional of designs, down to the dress train's dramatic length, trailing behind her, she chose to make a statement about _tradition_, she'd explained, earning approval from the entire family and even admiration from his own mother, Walburga Black, who had chosen a purple dress for her own wedding.

The crowd of wizards and witches were positioned in a circle surrounding the bride and groom, as they went through the traditional wedding ceremony, exchanging gifts agreed prior to the engagement, along the same time their Prenuptial Wedding Agreement, as way customary for witches and wizards of noble pure-blood houses.

This went on for a long, tedious while, until the bride and groom finally exchanged their final wedding vows, hands clasped around each other's wrists, as an elder wizard said some words Sirius couldn't hear. Either way, his mind was delving too far into the land of boredom for him to be interested in what they did, too intrigued by thoughts what had happened with the mirror to care about whatever was happening. What was so special about getting married anyway? All the witches did was fawn about her dress, how _long_ the train was, how _expensive_ the custom made silk had been, how _gorgeous_ she looked, how Rodolphus was a very lucky wizard to be marrying her.

Personally, he found it gross. Why would anyone want to spend any time with Bella anyway, let alone their entire _life_? He twisted his nose at the thought, kicking against a patch of cold sand on the ground, eliciting an undignified gasp from a nearby witch, who frowned at him, and muttered something about the lack of respect for the older generations.

He struck out his tongue, when he knew she wasn't looking. Stupid old witches and wizards, all they cared about was their stupid blood status and purity and being part of the pureblood circle. The sheer pretentiousness of it all angered him. He turned on his heel, about to stomp away, when he felt a tug on his collar that kept him in place. Annoyed at the obstruction in his plans, he looked back to ensure he'd remember whose face it was he'd be pranking later, when he was met by the grinning mug of his favourite uncle. "Uncle Alphard!" he whispered loud enough to earn a few glares. Uncle Alphard stifled a chuckle with his hand, disguising it as cough.

For a moment, Sirius thought about telling him all he had seen, to unravel this mystery… surely uncle Alphard would know more than him and Andy combined, uncle Alphard was _amazing wicked_. It was a fact, Cissy's Witch Weekly had said so a few months ago. He'd heard her read it out loud to Andy, so it must be true. But as he was about to open his mouth and, lightly putting it, _spill the beans_, the haunting image of his Andromeda's eyes filled his mind, her plea to keep the secret between them, the desperation in her voice… And Sirius found himself saying instead, "Why are all these witches so worked up about Bella? She's ugly anyway."

The rest of the wedding ceremony was spent with Sirius trying to talk, but finding himself saying the most pleasant things, he would _never_ say, and his uncle laughing at him. "Doesn't that witch look stu_nning_, with that ma_rvellous hat_?" he'd heard himself say. He glared at his uncle, who only laughed. Why were these things coming out of his mouth? She looked _stupid_ in that _massive_ hat.

"Oh Sirius, your mother would be so proud of the manners you've gained by spending some time with me!" Sirius continued glaring, not finding it the least bit funny. He didn't want to be here a single bit, he was bored, he was hungry and he was curious and could do _nothing_ about it. Just what was she hiding? He found himself thinking as he overheard his mother say, whilst looking in his cousin's direction, "…However, if one of our own family chose a path that would seek to oppose these ridiculous new reformed muggle loving laws and the _wizards_" the mockery escaped no-one when she said the word, "behind them, in truth, as it has been for centuries, the Black family would be, always, one hundred percent behind them."

He looked to his cousin, to find her smiling sweetly to his mother, eyes glazed with maddened glee. He felt his breath being knocked out of his chest, something truly wasn't right. He looked to his uncle Alphard, who was paying no attention to them, and followed his gaze. It lingered on a witch who was batting her eyelashes at him, and he was smiling back at her, that smile that he saw his uncle use to make them fawn over him like bees to honey.

He frowned, not understanding the appeal what-so-ever. Maybe Andromeda was right after all, uncle Alphard might have been _amazing wicked_, but maybe he wasn't quite suited for this type of thing.

"Sirius," his uncle said, barely meeting his eyes, "I have to go and take care of something… I'll, er, be back in a short while, alright? Maybe you could find Regulus and play with him until I come back?" he said, though his eyes seemed to pay no attention to him, until the moment they met him again, this time more seriously, "And _please_, for the love of Morgana's beautiful tits, try not to get yourself into trouble alright? I don't know how much more damage control I can do before your father loses it."

Sirius nodded with a sad sigh. He'd never understand, Sirius realised, as he saw him nod with a triumphant smile and quickly walk towards the witch he'd been exchanging glances with. No, he certainly was not good enough to participate in this mystery case just yet. Maybe in a few years, he considered. Until then, Sirius would have to figure this out on his own. And he would find out what it was, sooner or later… He knew he would.

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**A.N.: ** Thanks to everyone who's followed, favourited and reviewed, it really means the world to me :) as a fan of Sirius and with all the detail and research I've put into this, it's really great when I get a review/PM with things in there that you notice and giving me ideas. Thanks for the support, I am writing this for all of us!


	6. Catherine Blake Pt1

**Disclaimer:** This Fanfiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. Sufficed to say, copyright infringement would be a stupendously idiotic move on my behalf. Same goes for the ever beautiful "Catherine Blake", a track which belongs to doom metal band My Dying Bride. The OC who happens to be in this chapter is my personal tribute to this song.

**For my Beta Readers:** **Krystalmage** and **DarkenedStar**, take a bow girls, this would read like crap without you.

And a massive thank you to **Pandora Imperatrix** and **RosaSilvermist **for the continued support :) your reviews and insight always make me smile and give me more of a reason to write!

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**Catherine Blake**

Catherine Blake slept fitfully in the  
summer night. In the heat.  
She murmured gently and moved smoothly,  
this way and that. Oh, the beauty.

* * *

It was one of those sunny days of June in 1969, when Sirius had been granted some time to roam alone through the forest near his Aunt's place. The sky was the richest shade of turquoise, not a single cloud in sight, and Sirius could feel the caress of a warm summer breeze touch his skin. He sighed blissfully, inhaling the smell of the trees, grass and nature surrounding him, letting the soft buzzing sounds of insects and the chirping of birds invade his ears. Living in London town had always prevented him of being in contact with nature, which he absolutely adored to be immersed in.

He let his leg fall down from the tree branch he lay on, back resting against the trunk, leg stretched out in front of him, as he used his hands to delicately play with the leaves, making them dance like puppets with the graceful movements of his fingers, loving the elegant way they moved in synchrony with his fingers. But then another sound came to his attention, a more human sound- a feminine voice he didn't recognize.

"_Are you going to Scarborough fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme!"_

And, bloody hell, it was singing! He let his graceful nine-year-old features scrunch into a frown. It certainly couldn't be any of his cousins, neither Cissy nor Bella could sing for the life of them, and a chuckle left his lips as he imagined the cacophonous duo dressed in those ghastly robes the women his mother listened to sing did, atop a stage, their voices shrieking like a couple of Banshees, in attempted melody.

"_Remember me to one who lives there; he once was a true love of mine!"_

Sirius sneaked a look beneath him, over the branches that were sure to disguise his presence, and as he saw the girl, twirling herself away, with a flower on her raven head, he couldn't help at all the devious smirk that crossed his features. Of course, his parents had always warned him not to engage in any contact with anyone besides family, or people who had been introduced to him through family.

But firstly, what did they know? And secondly, how _would_ they know? His smirk grew into a full blown grin as he turned his hands towards the girl, feeling his early signs of magic seep through him until they left his fingers, with a tingling sensation on his tips. And just like that, her full bell-shaped skirt had completely turned upside down, revealing her underwear. The girl yelped, undoubtedly startled at the uncommon occurrence. She was quite sure the wind wasn't strong enough to pull her full skirt up. And then she wondered to herself, how could it have blown up when she hadn't even felt the wind?

She looked around herself suspiciously. It was someone pulling a prank on her, she was sure of it! Yet, as she looked around, she saw no one, as Sirius had predicted. He resisted the urge to laugh at the poor girl, but simply couldn't help his trickster nature, and as soon as the girl had fallen back into a sense of security, he used his finger to gingerly lift her skirt up from behind her, as if someone had actually been there and pulled it up.

Another yelp left the girl's lips, cheeks turning scarlet. She whipped her head around, with her hand held up, ready to slap the offender. Alas, she was met with nothing put pure air. She moved her body around in a full twirl, making sure to check every inch of the scenery she might have missed, but still found nobody.

Her heart had started to pulse faster. Could it be a ghost? The headmistress had always told her stories of how she wasn't to go around on her own because there were great dangers out there for a young girl to be faced with, but the little girl hadn't cared. She'd wanted to play in the field and collect flowers to give the other girls at the orphanage.

But her pulsing heart belied the eyes that tried to defy her sudden grip of fear. There was _nothing_ around her, she'd told herself, looking around herself again to confirm it. The wind was just acting peculiar that day.

She sat on the grass, her face twisting into a stubborn look that defied the wind to try it again now that she was sitting down with her skirt beneath her bum _and_ her hands holding her front.

And Sirius almost howled into a fit of laugher, but decided to control himself, using his magical aid to go down the tree behind the girl, silent as a panther, and creep towards her unsuspecting figure, predatorily. As soon as he had snuck up mere inches from her, the most devious grin yet crept into his features, as a loud "BOO!" escaped his lips.

The girl in front of him jumped into the air with a high-pitched scream, looking behind herself to find his laughing figure rolling on the grass. Her expression quickly turned from horrified, to stunned, ending in an angry pout.

"You're the one who's been pulling up my skirt!" she accused, quite sure of herself. "That's a very rude thing to do! If Madam Monroe were to see you you'd be in detention just now!" she stated matter-of-factly, throwing her long blue-black locks over her shoulder, hazel eyes burning with fervor against alabaster skin.

"Well, I'm not quite sure who this Madam Monroe is…" He started, sounding every bit the aristocrat he'd been trained to be, with his soft, but powerful voice, "But I'm not sure I'd be obeying the rules of anyone whose name isn't Albus Dumbledore." He grinned; quite sure she hadn't a clue who he was talking about. He surprised the young girl by bowing slightly, his courteous upbringing ever present, even as he tried to escape it. "My name is Sirius Black." He introduced himself, locking stormy grey eyes with hazel ones.

The young girl couldn't help but feel a faint warmth cover her cheeks, finally noticing the handsome boyish features and romantic dark locks framing his pale complexion. A faint smile finally made its way onto her lips, his naughty actions blown away by the aristocratic behavior. Not knowing any better, she extended her hand, eyes sparkling, "My name is Catherine, Catherine Blake! It's very nice to meet you!"

And so her heart skipped a beat as his lips tenderly caught the back of her hand, his own holding it to place. The warmth she'd felt before engulfing her cheeks, had suddenly returned with force, and she was quite sure it was displayed quite blatantly at anyone who looked. Yet, Catherine was powerless to the boy's charms, and soon a warm grin made its way to her face. "How did you do that?"

Her young voice was curious and eager, filled with ingenuity, star-filled eyes taken with wonder for the small tricks he'd displayed. Sirius smiled back, taken by the girl, teasingly answering, "Why, do you want me to do it again?"

Her grin was turned upside down, into a horrified frown, "Of course not!" she'd almost screamed, but upon hearing the peals of laughter that left his lips, she once again blushed, "You cheeky monkey!" she accused, causing the boy to laugh further, "Pretty please, tell me how you did that? I've never seen the wind act that way…"

He grinned back, "Well how do you know it was me?" he'd inquired, curiously. His mother and father had always told him how muggles despised magic and everything magical, how they had burned so many of their ancestors, how they had tried to destroy magic… yet as he looked at the young brunette's eyes, filled with so much curiosity and awe, he couldn't help but question his parent's belief further.

He'd been taught that they were evil, meant to be distanced from, hidden from, lest they try to kill him or steal his magic. But really, he looked at her powerless stance and curious glance, how could someone like Catherine ever want any of those things? He had to know himself, what was true and what was not. If she tried to kill him or take his magic, he would concede to his parent's beliefs. But if such was revealed to be false, he would never believe them again. He'd needed to see proof of these things for himself.

Finally, after much stuttering, the girl spoke, eyes low, looking at him through her eyelashes, almost afraid of what she was going to say, almost scared of being wrong. "Well…the wind doesn't really act that way does it? And, well, you appeared out of nowhere… So I thought it could only be you. You wanted me to notice you right? Were you invisible at first because I almost didn't believe in your magic?" she stuttered, cheeks blazing.

He couldn't help but grin, amazed at her imagination and how she'd thought she couldn't even see him because she hadn't believed. Well, it wouldn't hurt to make her think she was right, he decided. It would at least keep him out of trouble. Maybe one day he would tell her the truth. "Yes, only people who believe in magic can see me." He replied, unable to contain the smile that hadn't leave his face since he'd first seen the girl.

Her face lightened, smiling from cheek to cheek, "Are you really serious? Is it really true? You can do magic?" Catherine was enchanted by the boy, so graceful and handsome, and magical… He must have been a fairy prince!

He laughed, feeling the magic escape his fingertips, enchanting the yellow flowers surrounding them, so that they would waltz in the air, and Catherine twirled, entranced by what he did. She'd never seen anything so glorious in all her nine years of life, if only she could show her friends! "What are you?" She turned to him, so beautiful and pure, little Catherine Blake, that even Sirius's young heart had quickened. "Are you a prince?" She finally asked, her eyes so big and filled with wonder, that once again Sirius couldn't be honest with her.

"Yes…I'm a prince." He agreed, not bearing to imagine the look of disappointment on her face if she happened to find out he was nothing but a boy. She laughed and took both his hands, twirling both of them around, as the floating flowers surrounded them in a shower of colour.

The hours passed as both children spent their time together, with Sirius's tricks and Catherine's curious look of awe at everything he did. Never had his magic been received with such praise, not even when he did spells that were more complicated. He would have never known that something as simple as making flowers float could make someone laugh, and their eyes twinkle in admiration. And as the day came to an end, Sirius thought he would never forget that day.

"I have to go now…" His voice held such sadness, she thought, looking into his face, turned to the ground. She smiled, "Will you be back tomorrow?" She asked, quickly adding, "I'll wait here for you!" in fear that he would refuse.

He turned to her, startled at her eagerness to see him again, and a smile crept into his lips as he nodded, "I will do my best to come." And with that he left, going into the woods where he knew the house invisible to muggles would be hidden by various enchantments and spells, protecting it from prying eyes.

He'd returned just in time for dinner, he hoped undetected. As he made his way towards the dining room a soft voice called to him. "Sirius…where have you been? I was concerned for you…" He turned towards the sound of his cousin, Cissy's, voice, who looked him with earnest eyes, feeling his back stiffen as he thought of his reply.

"I spent the day in the forest, there's quite a lovely meadow there… I went to practice my magic where nobody could disturb me." He stated as truthfully as he could, leaving out his encounter with the muggle girl Catherine, knowing his cousin loved him, but cared too much for her family's beliefs to keep his secret.

Narcissa's eyes held doubt as she carefully regarded his words. "I see…" she paused, "We were quite worried for you Sirius, and you know your mother dislikes it when you disappear for so many hours without notice."

He smiled back, hiding the bitterness he felt at the mention of his mother, "I understand."

Dinner had passed without anything notorious or worth mentioning, and Sirius went to bed that night, for the first time in years, eager for the following day to come. His heart raced as he thought of the girl and how he wished to spend more time with her, laughing, sharing his magic with her, and having her magic shared with him. A soft smile fell upon his lips when he finally drifted off to sleep.

The following morning was spent in the company of his cousin Cissy, Regulus, and his mother, in the promise that he would have the afternoon for himself. During that morning they were to go through potions revisions with Narcissa instructing both her younger cousins, patiently explaining the more difficult parts to Regulus.

Sirius almost let his excitement for the coming afternoon seep through his exterior, which no doubt would have alerted the rest of his family to something abnormal happening in the young man's life. So he kept those feelings to himself, as hard as he could.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Cissy, however, the way his eyes drifted to the clock on the wall more often than necessary, or how his hands trembled slightly every time he did. Something was definitely suspicious about his manner, and she would discover just what it was. It might be something quite innocent, but she was in charge of both her cousins' welfare, and she took her role in all seriousness.

She feigned ignorance and continued watching until noon. The family gathered and lunched in the garden, the skies were blue and the birds chirped around them. Yet Sirius still seemed as eager to leave as he had four hours prior, his enthusiasm almost bursting out of him, as he ate, a lot faster than he ever would have, let his feet thump against the ground and twiddled his hands together, impatiently awaiting for everyone to finish their meals and rise from their seats.

Something was definitely up with him, she decided. She would follow him carefully, so that he wouldn't notice, and get to the bottom of whatever it was to determine if it was dangerous for the family or not. One never knew with her cousin if his intrigues ever held any real threat or were as silly as having spotted a centaur somewhere and decided to follow it.

Either way, by the day's end, all would be clear for her, she promised herself.

Sirius could hardly believe it when lunch was finally over and he finally had time for himself. He quickly grabbed his things and informed his mother and cousin that he'd be out in the forest to practice his magic, confident they wouldn't inquire further after such an explanation, and was delighted to notice neither witch presented the least interest in his endeavours.

He walked in the same direction as he had the following day that lead to the same meadow. Catherine said she would wait for him, and he could only hope she would. He felt a surge of excitement twinkling through his fingers, the magic in him seemed to vibrate with his own emotions, entwining him in a trance that had him smiling without even noticing.

Even before he noticed the meadow, he could see her, raven hair and baby blue dress, twirling herself between the flowers, and falling over herself. He laughed, startling her with the unexpected sound and audience to her own clumsiness. When she lifted her face from the ground to look at him, it was red as a cherry, but her lips immediately curved upward as she saw him.

"Sirius!" she called, immediately pulling herself to her feet, willing herself to run to him. He felt his heart race a little, as butterflies settled on his stomach, tickling him there, and returned a wide grin to the young girl. "Catherine!"

And in the shadows, both were watched by a relentless set of blue orbs, no doubt surprised with the exchange. Narcissa could only hope the girl was of a proper magical family, or at the very least, she hoped in her heart of hearts, the girl was even magical at all. It wouldn't be unlike Sirius at all to simply befriend a muggle. Her heart clenched at the thought, and knew as she gazed upon the happiness in her cousin's face, that she'd never seen him be so careless and free. She breathed in deeply, deciding to watch them for a longer spell and confirm what she was seeing.

Meanwhile, they both played in the meadow, coming up with different games as the day went along. Hide and seek had been the first of the lot, followed by catch, and when both children were tired enough, they finally fell to the ground, gasping for air.

Catherine giggled as a thought entered her head, following the conversation they'd had the prior day. "What kind of prince are you Sirius?" She asked, as they both lay on the ground, feeling the sun kiss their skin.

Sirius sighed, closing his eyes, as he thought of his answer. Would she still think him wonderful if he told her the truth? Would she still be his friend and accept him, despite him not being a prince? "I'm a wizard." He tried, not daring to elaborate on his answer for fear of her reaction. He attempted to open a single eye to watch her reaction, and was met with an excited smile.

"Woooow! A wizard prince! My friends will be so jealous! My friend Mary Ann said she met a fairy prince once…" she started, before bursting into giggles, "But I didn't believe her!" she laughed, the melodic sound of her voice was contagious, and before he even knew why, he was laughing with her.

"Well, they couldn't have had much of a conversation." He told her truthfully, remembering the last time he's seen a fairy when he'd gone with Cissy to collect berries in the forest. He looked into her eyes and grinned, "They can't talk, you see, and when they do it's quite an agonizing high pitched yell!" He wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm a much better prince!" he grinned, secretly hoping she would agree with him. It certainly wouldn't hurt to make her believe he was only just slightly better than a wizard. After all, what was a mere wizard next to a prince?

Her merry laughter caught his ears again, "Really?!" she managed between giggles, "And here she was telling me all about how he would come and rescue her and take her to his palace!" Sirius smiled, feeling a rush of heat cover his cheeks, and rapidly moved his head the opposite way.

After a brief pause, she finally asked him, "Will you take me one day?" very serious, in her sweet, dreamy tone.

He sucked in a breath, taken aback by her question. "Take you where, Catherine?" He asked, turning his eyes back to hers. Her smiling face and rosy cheeks, were as beautiful as a young girl's could have been.

"To your magical palace, of course!" She stated in a very 'obviously' tone of voice.

How could he escape this, he wondered, without hurting her feelings? If he told her how much his parents despised her kind, it would hurt her much more that the knowledge that he wasn't, in fact, a real prince. His eyes turned sad and serious, as he looked away, and once again, he was saved by the girl's curiosity and relentless questioning, as a small gasp escaped her lips, eyes once more serious, "Is it because there is an evil witch? Is that it?"

Sirius thought of his mother, and was taken aback by the thought of it. Why would she come to mind at the word 'evil witch'? He looked at her, deciding to tell her his story… in a way she could understand, as honestly as he could… "It's not just an evil witch… You see, the king and queen were once very kind…" He thought to his early years, laughing with his mother, sitting on his father's lap. "But…" He though to his uncle and aunt, "They were cursed by an evil wizard, who turned them both evil…" He looked away, not bearing to face her as he remembered the Cruciatus Curse that had not long ago boiled in his veins, snapping his very bones, their cold crackling sounds filling his ears from the inside, as his muscles spasmed, and he'd almost made himself deaf with the sound of his screams, whilst being forced to look, through tear filled eyes at his tormentor, with the face of his father.

And then, a warm hand was on his face, smiling down at him reassuringly. "But you're a prince! I'm sure you can break their curse and save your parents!" He met her eyes, so kind and loving, even to him, a wretched stranger that had blown her skirt even before she'd met him. How could someone capable of such feelings for someone who she'd only just met be a terrible muggle, who only wanted to steal his magic?

And even though his young heart hadn't known, he had fallen completely in love with the girl. He couldn't help but smile back at her, nodding in agreement, even while he wasn't entirely convinced of her assessment. And before either of them had noticed, the sun was starting to set, and with a heavy heart, Catherine finally said, "Sirius, I think I have to go back before the girls start getting worried for me…"

Sirius nodded, looking into the sunset. "Yes, I have to go as well…"

"But we'll meet tomorrow?" Her eyes were so filled with hope, and her smile told him she was eager to be with him once more. His stomach fluttered once more with little butterflies, and he nodded, promising himself he would find a way to meet her. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then!" She grinned, lifting herself to her feet and walking away from him.

Sirius watched her go into the faint dirt path that led to the muggle town where she lived, and only when she disappeared from sight, did he let his mind drift into memories of that same day.

"She's a muggle." He stiffened immediately, the familiar voice bringing with it a promise of a dangerous liaison.

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Right guys, please don't forget to leave a review and support me in writing this, and a massive thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favourited, followed or PMed me! :) I've put a lot of thought and love into this, so if you're liking or disliking anything at all, it would be so amazing to know what you're thinking! Doesn't even have to be a review, a PM will make me happy :) I'll be back next Monday with part two! see you then!

-Cat


	7. Catherine Blake Pt2

**Disclaimer:** This Fanfiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. Sufficed to say, copyright infringement would be a stupendously idiotic move on my behalf. Same goes for the ever beautiful "Catherine Blake", a track which belongs to doom metal band My Dying Bride. The OC who happens to be in this chapter is my personal tribute to this song.

**For my Beta Readers:** Round of applause for **Krystalmage** and **DarkenedStar**, you've been such amazing friends and critiques throughout this journey, especially the Catherine Blake chapters... thank you for the support, help and criticism, you've made these chapters read the way they do, and I couldn't be happier for that :)

**Thank you** to my sweet, sweet reviewers/friends who have been following and supporting this story in just about every chapter, **Pandora Imperatrix**, **RosaSilvermist **and more recently for **AutumnSkiesAreBlue**, thank you guys so so much for taking the time to leave me feedback and let me know your thoughts about this :) it really makes me want to write even more! *hug*

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**Catherine Blake **

**(Part 2)**

Her luscious eyes, delicate fingers  
clawed at her sodden bed.  
Catherine smiled. Took a fabulous breath  
of summer air and tasted death.

* * *

"She's a muggle." He stiffened immediately, the familiar voice bringing with it a promise of a dangerous liaison.

He breathed in, attempting to calm himself. "What about it?"

"Don't play coy with me, Sirius, you know just how grave this situation is, especially if it reaches your mother's ears." Her voice was stern, leaving no room for argument. He knew Cissy was very loyal to the family and how tricky this situation would become for himself now that she'd had found out. And so, he did the only think he could to soften her.

Grey met blue, and it was the first and only time Sirius would ever ask of anything of his cousin. "Then please, just give me some time before you tell her."

She inhaled, not leaving his eyes, "Sirius… You can't keep meeting her. It will only hurt yourself and the girl."

"Please…" his eyes were pleading, desperate almost. Narcissa Black had never seen her cousin so earnest for something in his life, he had never asked anything of anyone; his pride prevented him from doing so.

She sighed, finally breaking their gaze. "Sirius, you know I can't hide this from our family. Interacting with a muggle, especially with such familiarity…it is a disgrace to our name, to our kind as wizards." She rested her gaze on him again, "Please, I'm asking you Sirius, for once in your life, please just let this go."

He was finally starting to see her eyes soften; it had worked. Maybe he could coerce her into buying him more time with Catherine. Maybe. He couldn't imagine a life without her laughter in his now, not at this point in time… "Just give me some time… I promise I will… I just…" He paused, searching his brain for words, "I just need some time to think for myself, to analyze some things…" he cast his gaze away from hers, hoping to have convinced her.

With a final sigh, and a pause that had seemed to last far too long, Narcissa Black finally conceded to his plea. "Alright. I'll give you some more time before telling our family." His gaze was so dejected that she felt almost saddened by it. If only she hadn't known it was for his own good. She could almost see him falling for the girl, and she simply didn't want her dear cousin to be blasted off the family tapestry, like those who had before him. He was a prodigy; he had the most potential in all their new generation to bring pride to the House of Black once more. His spell work was magnificent, even at such a young age and without a wand. True, he would never entirely master potions, the subject he found the most difficult, but charms and transfiguration seemed to be such a second nature to him, she couldn't bear to think of his future ruined by an unworthy muggle girl.

She could only hope that he was absolutely serious about cutting ties off with her. "Let's go home, Sirius. Tomorrow you have a difficult day ahead of you." She had warned him, and could only hope that he would head her words- for the girl's own good, if not for his own. He nodded as they both got up, making their way in silence, side by side back to the mansion.

Sirius was restless that night. Cutting ties with Catherine… he could barely imagine it. She was such a light in his world, with her easy going nature and fun personality, so inquisitive and imaginative… she would have been a fine young witch if she had been blessed with magic, such as himself. He tossed in his bed, waiting for the sleep that never came, thinking of the danger they both faced. He would imagine his mother would take it upon herself to obliviate her once she had found out, and at that thought, the greatest of pains shot through his heart… She would live without ever remembering him, without ever remembering the little time they had spent together, without ever knowing of the laughter they had shared, of the flowers that waltzed in the air, or the warm sun that bathed their skins as they lay side by side.

A lone tear fell from his cheek as he wracked his mind in search for an answer to this, for a way to stop the inevitable. Maybe he could convince them that she needn't be obliviated, that all the other muggles would simply think her to imaginative in telling such stories. Who would believe her, right?

Of course. The pain in his chest lightened, as a glimmer of hope finally shone through this complication. He breathed in, finally able to rest.

The next day, he went to meet her as agreed, however, try as he might, he simply couldn't bring himself to tell her he couldn't see her anymore, that their friendship had to end. Not when she had the most beautiful of smiles gracing her features, not when her laughter had made him float through the air and join her in glee, not when he couldn't simply imagine a life without her anymore. She was his friend.

And so, Catherine became his secret, as he'd sneak from his aunt's house to meet her when no-one was looking. He had assured Cissy that his little indiscretion was over, and against all odds, she'd agreed not to tell his mother. Sirius would meet her in the meadow, where they would both talk about so many things, and yet nothing he could recall once he got back. But always a smile placed itself upon his face once he fell to his bed and recalled how he'd spent his day.

He had told her that he couldn't always meet her because of the evil wizard he'd discussed on their first meeting, and so, she would often ask if he'd found anything to break the curse, to which he'd make up fabulous adventures, of unicorns and centaurs, and other such creatures from the days he couldn't meet her, so as not to raise suspicion. He eventually told her of Prince Regulus, his brother, who was captive of the king and queen, forcing him to believe in their evil. He told her, as well, that he also strove daily to rid them of the evil wizard Cygnus, who was, unknown to her, his uncle. She would cheer him on, and ask him to take her in one of his adventures, to which he would answer that as a prince he couldn't let her go with him, for it was far too dangerous for her.

She'd frown and pout, and relentlessly insist she was more than capable of defending herself, yet at the end of every day he would catch her off guard and disappear into the night, back to his aunt's house.

Narcissa had caught him once again a few weeks on. "I thought I had told you not to see her again! You promised me, Sirius! I can't let you see her anymore, for your own good!" she said hotly that same night, as she sneaked into his room whilst the rest of the house slumbered into the night.

"And I did! But then, I went back…She's my friend, Cissy!" he'd whispered back, tears forming in his eyes as the danger of the situation once again threatened to consume him. "Please, don't make me do this…" He was desperate as he pleaded with his cousin.

Narcissa's eyes held only disappointment. "I'm giving you your last chance, Sirius…I won't see you ruin your life for a slip of a muggle girl who isn't worth half of what you are."

And she left, not allowing him another word. His heart raced and he damned himself for letting his mind slip into such a numb state that he would forget the danger of being caught. Of course Cissy wouldn't forget. She was the most observant member of the family. Of course she wouldn't understand… She was their little golden girl, the one who never broke a rule, the one who obediently did as told, who was relied upon, who was lavished with pride and trusted upon to ensure the younger's welfare.

He almost growled with hatred. If only he hadn't been born a Black, if only he hadn't been introduced into the bloody dark arts and captured in a bloody duty to be a heir to their line, if only he could be free to live as he chose, love who he wanted, believe what he thought was right, instead of all these incessant indoctrinations his family cursed him with.

Parting with Catherine…it was simply unimaginable to him. And so, another week had passed before he had been able to meet her. He had been walking home from another day spent alone, when he heard the sound of that dreadful, horrible, mocking voice.

"If it isn't itty bitty Sirius…" it drawled as he neared the family gate. Sirius looked up, eyes locking with her cold orbs. "Off to see the muggle again?" She asked, as a snake would, causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand.

He couldn't show her fear though. She'd only take advantage of him, as she had every other time. He dulled his face into a sneer, twisting his nose at her, "Whatever are you talking about?" he feigned ignorance.

"The muggle…" her breath tickled his ear in the dark violet tinted light of twilight, voice filled with dark sadistic amusement. "…Catherine…"

He stood frozen, a few moments too long for Bellatrix Black to notice his stiffness. The young one had gotten better at concealing his emotions, but he was still eight years too young to even understand how to deceive her. Even in the obscuring dark light he was sure of the cruel smile that tainted her otherwise angelical features.

"It's none of your bloody business who I see or not, Bella." He felt the rising anger boiling in him, the desire to protect the only friend he'd ever made surging in him. He wanted no harm to come to her, he would stop at nothing to ensure her safety. Bella could never find out where she lived, the less she knew about his dear friend, the better. He decided to change their topic. "Aren't you supposed to be with your husband, now that you're well and married?" He raised his eyebrow.

Her smile grew cold. "I wanted to see mother." She replied nonchalantly. Walking beside him to the entrance door. Her next words would haunt his dreams for the following days. "If you see her again, you know I'll have to do something about it, Sirius. Cissy had come to me in hopes that this matter doesn't have to reach your mother. You know how unbearable your punishment will be if _she_ is the one to deal with it." The smile didn't reach her eyes when she looked at him, "But for now, you're forgiven…you're young and full of promise Sirius. You can be great one day, if you join _Him_. I'll make sure of it." And without another word between them, they entered the house of his uncle, Cygnus Black.

Sirius was silent for the rest of the night, his appetite barely making up for the amount of dread that pooled in his stomach. The thought of Bellatrix even nearing Catherine was enough to give him cold sweats.

Later that night he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. He'd promised Catherine he'd meet her the following day… but in doing so it would be almost the same as asking his cousin to do something terrible to his dear friend. Yet he wanted to see her… to laugh with her, count clouds, hear of her muggle inventions, her 'musicals' and how she had played with Mary Ann and Jenny hide and seek, and how she had won several times.

He wanted to hear her soft voice telling him he could defeat the evil wizard, how he just had to try harder. That maybe the unicorns could help and that Prince Regulus would be alright. He wanted to believe he could save his brother from the false beliefs his parents had tried to indoctrinate in himself.

But when he was alone he just couldn't bring himself to believe her uplifting words. He would never be as good as she believed him to be. And with that in mind, he finally drifted into sleep, mind filled with dark night terrors that kept him from resting in sleep, night terrors which had lasted for an entire week, until he found he could no longer keep himself from seeing her.

He _had_ to see her that night, if only just to make sure she had been alright. He _had_ to.

Later on he would curse his thoughtlessness, his stupidity, and he would blame himself forever of what he knew not, was yet to come, but in that moment, he ran to her. He ran into the meadow, where he hoped she would be, and when he didn't find her, he followed the path he'd always seen her follow into the muggle village.

Unknown to him, a dark shadow had followed him. A shadow that deemed this was the perfect opportunity to show _Him_ her worth. The Dark Lord had entrusted each and every new member of the Death Eaters a task, one which would deem them either an official, loyal supporter, or something to be disposed of. A cruel smirk graced her beautiful features. As of yet, only the other two Unforgivables had been used. She, however, would prove to him just how valuable she was, how dedicated she was and how much she believe in his cause.

They would submit all the filthy muggles to their will or dispose of them accordingly. And this girl, this, Catherine… She was nothing but a distraction to her dear cousin. Muggles could smell power, it would seem, and Sirius would be terribly powerful once he grew into his magic and practiced it, she could tell. If this girl thought she could steal it of him, she would be proven wrong. Even if Sirius couldn't know now what was good for him, he would thank her one day. She knew he would.

She saw him follow the road into the old Orphanage she knew operated in the area, as it was the closest thing to the perimeter of the Black Mansion for miles, and the girl could have only come from there. The cruel smirk grew into a dark grin, bloodlust engulfing her vision. She would find the girl before he did. She would show him her remains and teach him the importance of blood purity and obedience.

Consumed by those thoughts, she let her magic apparate her into the orphanage. She looked into the wards where all the girls slept, and looked for the one with hair as dark as midnight and skin pale as milk. She'd found her immediately, long locks spread into her pillows. She used her wand to silence her voice, before lifting her off her sheets. She reveled in the fearful eyes that burst open, and the silent scream that she wanted to release, unable to move or alert anyone, the girl's eyes filling with tears. Oh, how Bellatrix loved when they screamed, the utter look of terror slapped onto their faces like a wave of cold water had finally awakened them into reality. She apparated the both of them into the forest, where she knew Sirius couldn't miss them, leaving the girl elevated between two trees.

She chuckled at the poeticness of it, the girl in her virginal white sleeping gown, big hazel eyes and dark locks surrounding her small frame. Even at such a young age, the dirty, disgusting muggle kind already had such schemes to overtake wizarding kind. She looked at her with loathing hatred, distorting her otherworldly beauty into something much more terrifying than that of any monster Catherine had ever heard of.

Oh, how she wanted to scream, even though her throat seemed to have lost her voice, she wanted to move her arms but couldn't. It was as if they were frozen, held by something far more powerful than herself. All she could do was cry, as her eyes were forced to look at her captor. Such a beautiful woman, who inspired such fear. Was she one of the evil witches Sirius had told her about? She could only be.

It had been over seven days already since she had last seen him, and he never spent so long without meeting her. At first she had been angry that he hadn't shown up for three days straight, not even to apologize. Then, she had started to worry that something might have happened to him. She couldn't believe that he would ever just leave and forget her, not after all this time they had known each other. He had always been such a gentleman to her, he'd always apologized when he couldn't meet her. It could have only been someone like this woman with crazed, abhorent eyes to do this to him.

But why? Why would they not want her to see him? She was his friend… Her blood pounded through her veins as she floated motionless in the air, stoic as a statue, if not for the tears that streamed down her face.

"CATHERINE!" She heard him scream, and her tears ran harder, as she couldn't even turn her head to look at him. It wasn't until he was much closer that she finally had the chance to see him, and she was so happy. He had come to save her! She still held fear in her heart, but she knew he would never let anyone harm her, not if he could stop it.

And suddenly, maniacal laughter filled the air, with a scream, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" and a green thundering light flashed before her eyes. It was the last thing she would ever see.

Sirius had been too late, he stood shock still, glued to the ground as he looked disbelieving at the limp body still floating between the treas. "No…" He whispered brokenly. "Catherine…" His feet broke free of their momentary paralysis and moved on their own accord, gaining speed as he neared her body, and then, just as he had reached her, she was dropped. Like a meaningless log, she was dropped to the ground, head hitting the cold, hard floor with a booming "thud", just as his arms embraced her.

She was still warm. Her body was still warm. His thoughts seemed to run through his mind at the speed of light, just as the world stood still around them. Desperately he held her head in his hands, her warm hazel eyes looked back at him, lifeless, unblinking, and he felt a warm flood of tears cover his cheeks. When had he started crying? Her body was still warm. He pressed his thumb into her wrist, but no movement beat against it. It was cooling down. Her body was cooling down. He took her lifeless head that dangled like a doll's head in his hands, and brought her flat against his chest, finally screaming in agony, not wanting to believe she wasn't moving. Unwilling to accept that she would never laugh again, or blink, or even breathe.

His breath came in short gasps, between tears and muffled screams that mingled with heart-broken sobs. He still couldn't believe it. She was…

"…Dead!" A voice said behind him, and though it wasn't Bellatrix's voice, Sirius didn't care. He didn't even register what was happening. All that mattered was that she…wasn't breathing. That she was in his arms and he would never let her go.

"…Surely there must have been another way Bella? The girl was a muggle, but she was too young to know anything. Obliviating her would have been enough!" The voices neared him, and he could only grasp her tighter, a sudden primal fear taking over him, one that didn't let him think rationally. They couldn't have her. She was in his arms. _His arms._ He wouldn't let them have her, whoever they were. He would take her away, he would steal her and take her to professor Dumbledore! He could still revive her, he was sure of it! It wasn't too late, it had only been a few minutes …

A hand grabbed his shoulder, trying to separate him from Catherine, but he only grasped her tighter against himself, as a loud "NO!" he hadn't even known he'd said escaped his lips.

And then, all went black. He let himself be captured by the numbness that took over his form, his mind drifting from the world into cold nothing. She was dead. She was dead… and there was nothing anyone could do.

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**AN:** Before anyone gets really angry with me, there is a VERY GOOD REASON for this to happen. Which should be explained in further chapters, and hopefully you lot will understand the method to the madness! And if not, you can always review or PM with questions, I'm always happy to chat with anyone! :) As usual, I'm asking you guys, if you liked this story, or if you're following it, please leave me a review with your thoughts, I'd very much like to know what you like/dislike about it and it makes me feel all warm inside when people take their time to support this story! :) So yeah, if you've liked this, make me feel like my work is appreciated and leave a comment! See you next Monday! - Cat


	8. September Sun

**Disclaimer:** This Fan fiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. We all know I'm a starving artist and own absolutely nothing. Not even the lyrics underneath, which belong to the glorious Type O Negative; rest in peace Peter Steele, you are dearly missed.

**For my Betas:** Thank you for everything, **krystalMage** and my sweet, dearest **DarkenedStar** this chapter is especially dedicated to you, for being such a wonderful, kind and strong human being. You were a great inspiration for this chapter, so I do really hope you love it as much as I do :)**  
**

**Special thank you**, as always to my dear friend **Pandora Imperatrix**, thank you for the wonderful insight you give in your reviews, you always drill deep into the iceberg and hit the nail right on the head, and it makes me so happy that my intent is understood, and also to the sweet **RosaSilvermist** for all the support you've been giving every chapter so far :) I hope the answer to your question will become clear in the this chapter and the next!

**A.N.:** Work kept me from posting this yesterday...sorry for the delay guys! I hope you enjoy, despite the angst!

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**September Sun**

_September sun blowing golden hair  
Now keep in mind son  
She was never there  
October's rust  
Bisecting black storm clouds  
Only the deaf hear my silent shouts_

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Cold water splashed into porcelain skin, leaving in its wake a shimmering turmoil in the lake underneath his fingertips. He watched silently as the water returned to its peaceful still mirror form, observing as dull grey eyes looked back at him from underneath. He was sure these would be the last days of sun before autumn came, the first week of September 1970. Every year it was the same. Early August's blazing summer was followed by a few cooler weeks, almost as if a forewarning of the cold weather that would follow, and then in the first two weeks of September a golden sun would come out, seeming to give everyone a last taste of warmth, a goodbye kiss, inviting the cold that would follow right after.

The sun was warm liquid gold, with its arms cast down to earth, slashed on the clear water and embracing the yellowing leaves of the trees that Sirius was sure would turn a thousand shades of rich scarlet, orange and brown in a few weeks' time. And yet, as beautiful as his surroundings were, Sirius still felt numb. Exactly one year and three months had passed since what was now the 'unspeakable' event that had 'never been'.

Sirius had first believed that, after the blackout he'd experienced, that it had all been a nightmare, that she was still awake and his eyes had deceived him, that it had all been a horrid night terror, and she would be waiting for him in the meadow that afternoon. Only after he'd spoken with Cissy had she confirmed it all. Yet still, he wouldn't believe and for months harboured the hope that she was still, somehow alive. Months later he'd visited back with his uncle and aunt, and sneaked back past the meadow, to the orphanage. After that day, she'd been all he could think about. He couldn't stop thinking that there could have been a way to avoid it all. The 'what if's' had lost their count, so many had they been, and ultimately he'd blamed himself for it all. Anger followed as he turned the blame on Bella, the true reason his friend was dead. He'd stopped looking at her altogether, speaking only formally on occasions where it was demanded of him; and yet he followed her in hopes of taking her down, if he could only prove her secrets to be true, the real reason for the murder of his friend, she might just be punished. Hope bloomed in his heart, only to be crushed as he told his father.

A silent tear caressed his pale cheek, "Catherine…" the word slipped out of his lips almost muted, though he was sure none of them even cared to remember her name. After Bellatrix had killed his dear friend, the entire family had cleaned the 'mess', as much as they could, covering up for his cousin's crime, insisting that 'blood and family were the only things worth protecting'. They didn't approve of Bellatrix's extreme measures, arguing that a simple 'obliviation' would have taken care of the 'problem'. Alas, Bellatrix had played the worried cousin part to perfection, insisting she didn't want the Black family heir to even come close to temptation, that she would do anything in her power to keep that 'filth' away from the 'blood of their blood', no matter the cost. She had left out what he knew had been her induction to the group of Nights of Walpurgis… he had heard whispers when they thought he was sleeping, he knew his cousin wanted to get him in, and would have already, if only he'd been slightly older.

Uncle Alphard hadn't replied to any letters or come to visit for months on end. The rest of his family had later silently agreed to treat the whole incident as if it had never happened. When he confronted Orion Black with his knowledge of Bella's initiation, his father simply smiled and answered, "What could you possibly be talking about? The girl was never there." His tone was final, and a scream of frustration and anger had trapped itself in Sirius' throat, as he clenched his jaw tighter than he'd even imagined he could. The older face, that could have been his own, simply smiled back, making a mockery of him, daring him to even utter a word. Sirius knew better than to give his father another chance to 'teach him another lesson in the secrets of the Dark Arts', so he walked, calmly first, until he reached the corridor. When his paces became heavier, faster, and found the door that led him out, and Sirius ran, he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, tears streaming down his cheeks, until he reached a park near home, heading to the most remote location he could remember. And then he screamed. He screamed as loud as his voice would permit, until his throat was sore and hurt, and he hoped the dead could hear him, that she could hear him, that she would know she had not been forgotten, that she had existed, that he would never forget.

For months he hadn't been able to look at his cousin, detesting the sight of her, his anger relentlessly eating his heart, as he hid his pain from those around him, distrusting even his brother, knowing his kind heart would get them both punished. Instead, Sirius dedicated himself to studying all offensive spells he could find that didn't consist of the Dark Arts. He had by then developed an intense disgust and repulse of Dark Magic, developing his own jinxes and hexes, vowing to himself never to use it. Not after what Bella had done. Not after Catherine had died by its use.

Soon after, anger turned to numbness. He would hardly eat or sleep, his eyes were dry from all the tears he'd shed over the many months. He'd avoided his uncle and aunt's place until that very day. He needed to apologize to her, to promise her to avenge her death, to tell her how important she had been. Now all he'd needed was the courage to move there.

Slowly, very slowly, his legs seemed to finally wake to the will in his heart, leading him to a place he knew all too well. They would never lead him to a stone crypt where her dead body rotted underneath the dirt; they led him to where her soul would surely rest, the meadow he'd first met her in.

It was no longer covered with flowers, as much as unruly grass that grew freely as it pleased, it seemed to mourn her loss as his heart did. It seemed fit that the meadow wouldn't have flowers now that she was gone, and so he lay down, closed his eyes, breathed in and imagined she was beside him, unsure where to start.

His heart raced as what he intended to say burned the tip of his tongue. He had spent so much time building up the courage to verbalize what his heart had long since been screaming, and to finally have the opportunity was both invigorating and devastating.

For a moment, it seemed silly for him to speak aloud, to nobody. It was against all the values he'd been taught: discipline, logic, composure. And yet, his heart ached to say what it felt, and he had no other way to end the unsettling feeling gripping at his heart day and night.

For moments, he stayed still, quiet as a mouse, heart thumping loudly against his chest, mouth suddenly dry, "I'm sorry Catherine", the words finally left his lips, "for not being able to protect you, for leading my cousin to you…" his voice trembled, "I want you to know that all the time we spent together changed me…I'm someone better because I had the chance to meet you…" Tears streamed down his cheeks, "The world has lost one of its brightest lights…" He sobbed, "I'll avenge you. I promise!" the sobs had overcome his will to speak, tears clouding his eyes, lips trembling, hands shaking, "I also promise I will never be like them. I'll never use the dark arts! Ever! Not as long as you live in my memory…" he brushed the tears of his eyes, and lifted his back, only to be knocked back down by the wind.

He would later swear it had been Catherine and that she had kissed him and smiled, telling him how he could defeat all evil as long as he wanted to. But in the midst of his breakdown, not even Sirius knew what was real or not anymore, and he chose to believe that she had had heard him and absolved him of guilt and anger.

His heart was lighter and filled with purpose. He would change the Black line, rid it of the '_toujours pur_', and reclaim what had always been denied to him, as was his right. He had promised her and intended to keep it.

* * *

**A.N.: **As usual reviews are always deeply appreciated, it makes me happy to share this story in which I've invested so much time and effort into, because I feel that my work is appreciated :) This chapter and the next, which will be posted next week, will complete Sirius's early Childhood Arc, and after that I'll be taking a break, probably until January (unless there is a high demand that I post sooner, which I doubt there will be). Hopefully when I start the Hogwarts Years Arc it'll be a lot less angsty, and I'll be able to delve deeper into Sirius's more playful side, and also explore his relationships with the rest of the Marauders, besides his family :)

I'm really excited to start writing it and sharing it with you! :) I've been crazy busy this month, so that's why I haven't written much, hopefully that will change over December and I'll have more time to write and revise and be able to start posting in early January, so after next chapter you might want to follow this story for any future updates, or check my profile from time to time, where I'll eventually settle on a date to start posting Arc 2 of this :)

Anyway, thank you all for reading and especially for all the people who have bothered to take a couple of minutes to support me, it really means the world and I love you for it!


	9. Noisy Awareness

**Disclaimer:** This Fan fiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black and his life and childhood. The song, "Noisy Awareness" belongs, of course, to Leandra, and it served as inspiration for this chapter. I also don't own any other songs, lyrics or anything you can recognise in this chapter.

**To my Betas: **You're the most wonderful people in the world for putting up with my horrible ways for so long and still support me, call me out when I'm not doing a good job and suggesting ideas when I'm struggling. This fic just wouldn't be half of what it is without your help and friendship and I can't thank you enough. A round of applause to **DarkenedStar** and **krystalMage**!

**Thank you! **So, so very much for all your words of encouragement and feedback, which is so very appreciated. **RosaSilvermist **you always get so emotive about this, and I love hearing your feedback because of that! I can't wait to start posting the second Arc, I think you'll love it! **Pandora Imperatrix** you're like my literature soulmate, you understand the flow of what I write and the impact and metaphor all the surroundings have in relation to the characters, and I really adore how much you're always spot on when you review! Unfortunately I will possibly only be updating in January, to have enough time to write and revise the second Arc before I start posting, so you can all have an update weekly! :) **DarkenedStar** \- just marry me already. This whole thing just wouldn't be possible at all without you, especially the last 3 chapters, you were holding my hand all the way throughout and calling me out when I needed it. Thank you for everything my love :D 3

_On with the fic!_

* * *

**Noisy Awareness**

_You may enslave  
You may disgrace  
My will your fury may obtain  
In a rainy summer night  
You're making me nervous  
Through tomorrow  
Through my fights  
You're making me nervous _

* * *

The letter arrived early in the morning of his eleventh birthday, November 1st and, ever since then, the conversation had been the same, over and over and over. Sirius sighed, feeling the soft, green grass beneath his back as he inhaled the smell of leaves and his mother's Black Roses carried by the wind, the sweet taste of an ice-lolly invading his mouth. Ears filling with the soft hum of the music played by the radio of their muggle neighbour - a catchy rock tune that Sirius often heard on their radio and quite enjoyed.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, that was The Rolling Stone's brand new hit, 'Brown Sugar'!"_ said the radio announcer, with an excitement to his voice that made Sirius smile. _"Today is July the 7__th__ 1971, it's a beautiful sunny day outside, the weather is nice and warm, if you're having a garden party, make sure to stay tuned for more exciting all new music and summer hits! Next on, we have straight from Los Angeles, USA, The Doors with their newly released single, 'Riders on the Storm', Tom Jones's 'She's a Lady' and this month's number one on the English charts, Diana Ross's 'I'm Still Waiting' before we cut off for our commercial break, but right now, let us enjoy the summer sun and the good music, here they are, The Doors!"_

Sirius smiled. This was a new song, and it was the first time he was listening to it. He closed his eyes, listening to the recorded rain, letting the rhythm of the piano take over his mind, the soft soothing male voice adding an element of beauty Sirius had never quite heard in any Wizard bands. _'Riders on the storm…riders on the storm, into this house were born…into this world were thrown…'_ sung the lead singer, and before he knew it, Sirius was humming along, letting his mind drift away from all the pressure, his family's words, his mother's voice and father's harsh tone, his brother's huffs of envy and fear, in the summer garden with the music playing. They were miles away from him, and it made him smile.

"What dreadful music these muggles listen to." He heard his mother exclaim, "Honestly, couldn't they at least lower the sound when it's so near their window?" He didn't need to open his eyes to know her face held a sneer of disgust. "Sirius!" she called, exasperated. Sirius sighed. There she went again. "I've been looking all over for you. Come, we have much to talk about, son. You'll be starting Hogwarts in just two months, and we need to go through your goals while you are there, again."

Sirius reluctantly lifted his torso from the warm earth beneath him, brushing a hand through soft, silky strands of black hair that reached just under his chin. "Of course, Mother. As you wish." He smiled, feeling as cynical as he'd ever felt. He knew he had to play her game, just like Uncle Alphard had told him so many times, _show what they want, do what you will._ In reality, he felt nothing like another afternoon sitting in their living room, sipping tea and hearing her blab about the suffocating mannerisms of pure-bloodism or any related nonsense.

He wanted nothing more than lay in the sun, feeling its warm rays seeping through his skin, and the soft breeze on his face. He would try at least to stay in the sun. Who knew? The annoying witch might just agree to his wild suggestion. "Mother, would it not be nice to stay in the garden today, while it's sunny? We could have a lovely garden party here, I've always enjoyed yours better than Aunt Druella's." He said with a smile, knowing his mother never resisted the chance to best her sister-in-law, who she was always compared with.

He was awarded a smile in return, green eyes sparkling in the sun. "Why Sirius…what a lovely idea! I am far better than Aunt Druella, after all, so why not make use of my talent?" she went on with a smile, snapping her fingers in the air. A soft 'pop' sound came before Kreacher, who appeared already in a deep bow. "Mistress," he said, awaiting his orders.

Her smile was still bright, "I've changed my mind Kreacher, and we'll be having our tea in the garden instead." She said, eyes alight with a dark, almost maniacal spark, turning them on Sirius, as she conjured a table and chairs for them to sit. It was a small victory, but Sirius took what he was given, smiling that same smile that no longer reached his eyes…not since…

He looked to the sky, avoiding eye contact with his mother, avoiding that memory with all his might. She'd done nothing. They'd all cared about themselves and their dark magic, more than they did for life.

"Now Sirius, as you well know, when you reach your Slytherin dormitory, you are to make alliances immediately…" and at the word _Slytherin_ his mind was turned off, focusing on the music coming from the radio instead: _Riders on the storm, Into this house we're born, Into this world we're thrown, Like a dog without a bone_… As he heard the lyrics his mind registered them immediately, his heart swelled, relating to the words in a way he never did with Wizard music. While he paid attention to the tunes playing in the radio, he kept on smiling politely to his mother, and replying with a 'yes' whenever it seemed necessary.

The tea and cakes came, freshly baked, and so they spent their afternoon. Yet, for each word she said, for each smile he faked, for each time their eyes locked, Sirius's hate only grew deeper and deeper. Every word he spoke was a poisoned apple, appearing sweet until the deadly concoction acted. She would suffer the same way she'd made _him_ suffer. He would be her greatest disappointment, he was sure of it. He would _make_ sure of it.

Never would he cast a dark spell, hurt any muggle-born, or marry for their house, the way Bellatrix had. He would create a world where Andromeda would be able to marry a muggle-born, where he would be free to befriend a muggle without their lives being at stake. He would break all tradition, all his family believed in, he would be against. He would do it. He just needed some more time… some strength to act on his impulses…but for now, he still needed to make them think he would be the perfect 'heir'. That's all he was to them, either way, a bloody 'heir'. He'd gladly pass that honour to Regulus, who always seemed to long for it, if it meant his freedom, his life being his own, his body belonging to himself. And someday, he would have it all.

The only thing he knew for sure, was simple. _He would never be in Slytherin._ "So mother, can you remind me again of the traits I must show the hat to ensure I'll be cast in Slytherin?"

* * *

Guys, I really hope you've been enjoying this so far, I can't even begin to tell you the amount of time and research that went into this fic, and I hope that all fans who are into cannon have been appreciating the read and will continue to do so!

This is the end for the Childhood Arc, but I plan to start posting again **January 5th** if all goes according to plan, to give me enough time to write, revise, beta, correct, edit and whatever else needs doing to it until it's perfect! The next Arc will start with the 1st Year at Hogwarts, we'll get to see Sirius interact with James, Remus and Peter, it'll be a lot happier than his time before that, so I'm really excited to start writing and posting that!

Again, I can't thank the people who've been supporting me this far enough, if it wasn't for you I would have already given up in this complicated story, which I try so bloody hard to keep in cannon. So, massive thank you to all the people who have **Favourited** this story: **AutumnSkiesAreBlue**, **DarkenedStar**, **Fea just me**, **MissSadieKane**, **Pandora Imperatrix**, **RosaSilvermist**, **blob3463**, **ems25**, **krystalMage** and **prci8**, and of course, to everyone who has added this story to their **Alert list**: **AutumnSkiesAreBlue**, **DarkenedStar**, **Fea just me**, **Jennylondon**, **Pandora Imperatrix**, **blob3463**, **ems25**, **krystalMage**, **ravenwingedyokai** and **siriuslylovehp**.

And please remember, if you've liked reading this, drop me a comment or a PM and let me know your thoughts, it really means the world to me after all the time I've invested in this story, to know what you think and if you liked it, or any thing that you think should be changed, it really gives me so much motivation to write and keep up the quality and updates coming! :) It only takes a couple of minutes, and it would really make my day!

Anyway, thanks so much, and for any fans of **Stardust** I'll see you in January, and to anyone interested in a few one shots I'll be posting, I'll see you sooner!

Happy holidays! Xx

Cat


	10. Wildest Dreams

**Disclaimer:** This Fan fiction is being written with the utmost respect for Jo Rowling and her works, I'm simply using her characters and fantastic universe to feed my undying dissatisfaction with lack of more detail on Sirius Black. I don't claim, you don't sue. In addition, 'Wildest Dreams' belongs to the greatest band that ever was or will be, Iron Maiden.

**To my Beta: DarkenedStar**, you've been more than a friend and a wonderful beta-reader, thank you for all your opinions and time you've taken with this, even when I'm being ridiculously demanding on time scale to edit. This chapter wouldn't have been written without your support (like 90% of the things I write). Thank you sweetheart, I'm so proud that you can get to be a part in the creation of this universe!

**Thank you! **To every single one of my readers, followers and reviewers, your words have meant the world to me and I couldn't be more glad to share this story with you and have your opinion contribute to this world :) Happy new year everyone!

* * *

**Wildest Dreams**

_And I just feel I can be anything...  
That I might ever wish to be  
And find myself just where I wanna be  
Make my Wildest Dreams come true!  
_

* * *

The morning sun invaded the compartment he'd decided to sit in, the warm rays extended their arms through the window, reflecting against soft, brown leather seats, their rich scents of polished wood filled the air, in the moment that every little boy and girl grown in a magical household dreamt of: going to Hogwarts.

Sirius carefully registered every single detail of this memory, intending to savour it later once he sent Regulus his first letter. He looked outside the window, waving enthusiastically at uncle Alphard, who had come especially to drop him off at platform 9 3/4, and screaming through the open window at a sulky Regulus, "Don't be sad! I promise I'll discover the entire castle and show you everything when you come with me next year!" The words didn't cheer the younger wizard, but for once, Sirius did not feel as heavy hearted as he normally would have.

He could not keep the grin off his face. This was it- the moment he and uncle Alphard had talked about so many times, the moment he would be able to choose what road he would lead in his life. His stomach bubbled with excitement, heart fluttering, as he saw his uncle squeeze his brother's smaller hand, grinning at him and mouthing 'do as we planned', so nobody would hear. At least he would be there to take care of Regulus for him, he had promised.

Sirius finally sat down, as his family started to leave. Even mother and father had seemed to have a twinkle of pride in their eyes as they waved goodbye, he thought grinning widely to himself… Hogwarts! The moment he had been waiting for all of his life, and he was on his way! He would be there by nightfall! His head swam in excitement and it wasn't until he looked to his side, that he finally noticed a boy sitting next to him.

Humorous hazel eyes locked into suddenly bashful grey ones and the boy offered a grin in return. "No worries mate, we're all excited! You should'a seen my old lady, she was in tears, squeezing the life out of me!" he laughed, and Sirius could not help but feel a distinct feeling of warmth and like for the boy with the dark, messy hair.

"Yeah, I suppose… I can't wait to start using this wand!" the grin only widened further, earning a laugh from the companion who shared his carriage.

"You're telling me! 11" Mahogany, Dragon Heartstring, pliable! Old Ollivander said that meant it was good for transfiguration!" he added with a glint to his hazel eyes, earning a bark of laugher from his companion. "So, which Quiddich teams do you support?" asked the young wizard, good-humouredly.

And their conversation took off like a Dwarf shot in the ass, both so excited to find someone with so much in common with each other, that neither paid any attention to the young witch who joined their compartment, sitting opposite the duo, looking out the window, or the wizard who joined soon after and sat next to her. Their conversation was interrupted, however, with a single sentence from the newcomer.

"You'd be better in Slytherin." He said to the girl, obviously encouraging her to be part of the detested house. Sirius's heart almost stopped as he heard the words, anger boiling in him.

"Slytherin?" he sneered, at what he now noted was a pale, greasy haired little boy, beside him, a red haired girl with green eyes.

"Who'd want to be in Slytherin?" boasted Sirius's travelling companion, adding in an obvious mocking tone, "I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" He turned his amused eyes, with a sly smirk to Sirius.

However, not a trace of humour was reflected back in the young, aristocratic face, as he lounged quietly against the window. The words were leaving him, before he could even stop them, reality hitting him for the first time in the entire journey, "My whole family have been in Slytherin."

The hazel-eyed boy seemed perplexed for a moment, "Blimey," there was an obvious note of disappointment in the boy's voice, "and I thought you seemed alright!"

It took less than a second for Sirius to remember his uncle's words and grin, as he repeated them aloud, "Maybe I'll break the tradition." He hadn't even given a thought to which house he actually wanted to be in. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?" he inquired nonchalantly, disguising his curiosity. If he could have a single friend, one ally to start with, he might just choose their house. In addition, he seemed like a good friend to have.

The boy dramatically lifted an invisible sword, pointing it straight to the greasy haired boy, "'Gryffindor, where duel the brave at heart!' Like my dad." he stated, eyes aflame with the words he truly believed in. Sirius's heart roared with fire at the words, filling with want and hope. That was exactly who he wanted to be… no, who he was already. Looking at the messy haired boy, he could see himself in the same house he'd picked. They represented all that he wished to be a part of.

Just the same, as it had awoken those feelings in him, the words had also elicited a small snort from the boy in front of them. "Got a problem with that?" his companion's words were heated, fiercely engaging the pale boy in open dislike.

"No," the boy said, and the sneer would have been enough to make Sirius dislike him, if everything else hadn't already. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy – "

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" Sirius interjected, his voice laced with venomous distaste, earning a howl of laughter from his new friend.

Just as the words left his lips, the red headed girl neither boy had paid attention to until then, was up and eyeing them both in anger, green eyes blazing furiously.

"Come on Severus, let's find another compartment," she said flushed, holding her hand out to the boy.

"Oooooooo…" they cooed in unison, mimicking the girl's voice. Sirius was howling in laughter as his companion extended his leg to trip the boy as he passed, but Sirius couldn't help one last comment as the door was about to slam on their faces, "See ya, Snivellus!"

His companion had tears in his eyes from the continuous laughter, "Snivellus?!" he exclaimed, looking at Sirius as if he were Merlin's ghost, "That's brilliant! That look on his face when you said he was neither brawny nor brainy, just priceless!"

Sirius giggled, feeling as if he'd just found his best friend, someone just like him, with the same sense of humour and obvious love of mischief. What Sirius had thought would have been impossible from the start, given his family name's reputation… his eyes widened as realization struck him. They hadn't even introduced themselves to each other yet. A sudden pang of fear gripped at his heart. How would he react when he found out? He looked towards the boy, his hazel eyes still swimming in mirth.

Sirius filled his lungs with air, as the Gryffindor motto crossed his mind again. He extended his hand, bracing himself for rejection, "By the way, the name's Sirius… Sirius Black."

The other wizard's eyes widened in shock. "Sirius Black?" Sirius gaped like a goldfish, hoping he'd believe him when he explained he was nothing like his family. "_The _Sirius Black? The same one who caused havoc with a Dragon Dung bomb at the Ministry's Yule Ball a few years ago?" Sirius grinned in relief; it certainly beat the reaction he'd been expecting. "I've been dying to meet you since that happened! Mum and dad were always too afraid of the influence your side of the family might have on me, but they always mentioned you seemed different from the rest of their lot." The boy grinned, finally taking his pleasantly surprised hand, "James Potter, your new favourite extended cousin."

As simple as that, the weight was lifted from his chest. He had been honest and true to himself, and was not rejected for it… Maybe his uncle was right after all. Maybe it wouldn't be as hard as he'd made it out to be in his head.

"Now you really _have_ to get into Gryffindor! Imagine the look on your old man's face when he finds out!" The mischievous glint in his hazel eyes was enough to make Sirius laugh again.

The remainder of the ride had been filled with James's family stories about their time in the Gryffindor house, envisioning the warm welcome they'd receive, the view from the tower, the richly decorated reds of their house… And more and more, Sirius was filled with hope and warmth, and want to be in that same house.

Their compartment had been joined two other boys, later on, a skinny one with mousy brown hair, with his nose stuck in a book, who didn't make any eye contact, and a chubby boy who seemed happy just to be in their presence. They didn't really talk to them much, even when the chubby one tried to chirp in and join their conversation here and there, he was easily ignored, not out of malice, but simply because they had met each other. And they knew they would be best friends to the end of their lives, and nobody could ever understand the bond both shared. One had been accepted for once, the other had found a companion who matched him in every way, and both would ease each other's solitude.

"I'm excited to see Hogwarts," said James as he put on his wizard robe, preparing to leave the train, and following after Sirius's lead. The two boys, followed by the two who had shared their compartment, walked together from Hogsmeade Train Station to the shore of the Black lake, located south of the castle. The sun already hiding from view, and the water was reflecting the twilight sky, which glowed in hues of violets and blue.

Making their way into one of the enchanted boats, Sirius was joined by James, and the two other boys who they had learned were called Peter, Sirius would remember him for his hamster-like mannerisms and appearance, and Remus, a bookish, frail-looking boy. Sirius heard a collective gasp escape many of the young wizards' and witches' mouths, their gazes elevated to the skies above, and looking in the same direction, Sirius could see the dark silhouette of dark, winged horses, pulling carriages. This must be the older years' mode of transportation that uncle Alphard had told him would carry him to Hogwarts after his first year.

"Wicked!" he heard James gasp, "The carriages pull themselves!" He looked at Sirius with a grin from ear to ear. Sirius looked to him as if he were insane.

"James, there're winged horses pulling those carriages." He stated flatly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you mean winged horses? All I see are the carriages! The joke's not funny at all!"

Sirius sighed, exasperated, about to retort with a cheeky comment about his glasses needing some serious checking, when a deep, but serene voice interrupted their soon-to-be-argument.

"He's right, you know? The carriages are pulled by Thestrals." All three boys in the boat looked at the owner of the voice. Bookish-looking Remus had spoken, and his tone was a lot more confident than any would have expected him to be.

"Thestrals?" asked Peter.

"Thestrals," he started in mode of explanation, pointing up, "They can't be seen by those who have not seen and accepted death into their hearts." His eyes met Sirius's for a brief moment, filled with curiosity and understanding. "That would be why the both of you can't see them." He finished diplomatically, looking at both James and Peter.

"Yeah…That _would_ explain things…" said James feeling thoughtful, if a bit silent.

Sighing as a flash of a memory he'd tried long to forget crossed his mind, Sirius looked ahead of the thestrals, into the nearing Castle ahead. It was absolutely massive, bigger than any structure he'd ever seen, full of tours and windows, and for a while he let himself remain captive of its mystery and charm.

It had been a dream turned read to finally study at Hogwarts, to be able to learn magic that wasn't dark, that he could use, instead, protect the ones he loved when he grew older. He could hardly contain the excitement at the thought of discovering all its secrets and mysteries, the hidden pathways his uncle had told him no one had ever been able to find and he knew then he would be exploring the castle top to bottom, to find every single one of them. He made it a point to remember to note them all down as well to make sure he never forgot them. Above all, Hogwarts would be the place he could finally be free to change into the person he wanted to be. He was sure he would change his life just as soon as he got there. So the next time something horrible was about to happen, he'd be strong and wise enough to make a difference.

He briefly looked at his companions, eyes meeting James's, who grinned that cheeky grin to him that promised a good friendship. Sirius smiled back, looking into the castle. Yes, this would be a new era for the Blacks.

* * *

**A.N.:** Hey, hope you guys liked this chapter! Hopefully this Arc will be a lot more cheerful for Sirius as we follow him and the Marauders in their time at Hogwarts! I can't begin to tell you all how excited I am to be able to explore all their characters and friendships, and the crazy stuff they got up to in their days there and what made them famous! Now, for the bad news...due to a lot that's been happening in my personal life, I'll only be able to update once ever two weeks, I'll keep doing it on Mondays :) Hopefully I'll be able to add a comment at the end with the update date if I can do it sooner, either way, thank you for sticking with this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as I do!


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